Come For The Bloody Mary and The Mimosa. Stay For The Bellini.
Since spring prematurely barreled its way into North Texas way early this year and told winter to take a seat on the bench, the warm sun and cool breeze opened up the perfect environment for what has almost become religion to Dallasites.
We're talking about brunch, of course.
Everything about brunch is ritualistic and a little odd to outsiders — not unlike Sunday morning church, actually.
First of all, you have to get together about 10 people more than the largest table in whatever brunch spot you've chosen. This is imperative, because you need to upset the wait staff for long enough that it forces a minimum 45 minute wait, minimum. Don't fear this wait time; you'll need it so you can congregate around the bar for communion. Assuming you're all wearing sunglasses for some reason, you can then order one of three liquids you would never even consider ordering at any other time.
The order of popularity with these brunch drinks ranks as follows:
1. Bloody Mary
Try for something a little different here: Go for the underdog and drink “The Champagne of Champagne & Peach Puree Drinks.”
Actually, that title is a little unfair. It's really Prosecco, not Champagne — this is an Italian drink, folks.
But you know what? It really doesn't matter. This, after all, is brunch, which is basically just an excuse to get day-drunk. Quantity is more important here.
Personally, I prefer Bellinis over Mimosas because it's the lightest of the three brunch staples. Think of these drinks as Paris and Venice — brother and sister versions of the same drink. Use that to match what you're eating. Drink the French-born Mimosa with French-style omelettes and crepes. Have a Bellini with Italian-style brunch like frittatas or rosemary potatoes.
Everybody has their personal favorite brunch spot, and arguing over whose is the best is no different than people arguing over whose church has the better pastor. I think a good brunch spot should at least have cheap drinks and great food.
Oh, and it should be popular. A brunch spot that's quiet and low on attendance just feels iffy the second you walk in, doesn't it? Which brings us back to the long wait we were talking about earlier. Believe in it, folks. It's part of the ritual.
One of the best in town places to embrace this ritual is Taverna, right at the intersection of Armstrong and Cole in Uptown. They serve $1 Mimosas and Bellinis during brunch hours. They're strong and they come fast. That's all I'm going to say about that.
Also, the frittatas are great. Always expect a 45 minute wait — at least — and feeling smushed at your table, too. Seriously, I don't know how they fit all the tables in this spot, let alone the people. It's cramped. That's all I'm saying. It's no wonder, then, that most people prefer to just stand out on the sidewalk while waiting for a table here.
Just be sure to eat quickly. After you've finally been seated and subsequently served, the owner will stare you down if you've finished your meal and are delaying leaving. So will the people standing in the street just waiting for you to leave so they can sit down.
No worries. Just eat fast and spend more time at the bar than at your table. Do that, and everything will be fine.
Plus, your hangover sins will be forgiven.