Die Laughing With Dustin Diamond At Hyenas.

Friday nights are sexy. Especially this one. Dustin Diamond, infamous for his Saved By The Smell sex tape performs at Hyenas in Fort Worth tonight. Har Mar Superstar — the Ron Jeremy of dance rock — performs tonight at Sons of Hermann Hall. The Miss Gay US of A pageant is going on iver at The Palladium, and that sort of speaks for itself. But nothing is sexier than an EGOT winner. Yeah, we're looking at you Hamlisch. After all this sexiness, you'll probably need some sort of fried food to recharge those batteries. Hypnotic Donuts' decision to stay open late tonight couldn't have come at a more appropriate time, huh?

Miss Gay US of A at The Palladium
All week, bold and beautiful men having been vying for the title of Miss Gay US of A, and tonight at The Palladium the new winner will be crowned. What? You haven't gotten your tickets yet? You can just sashay away, then.

Har Mar Superstar at Sons of Hermann Hall
We've been told a time or two that the number one trait women find attractive in men is confidence. This helps explain how a hairy, overweight, balding-in-the-front dude performing dance rock songs in his underwear comes off so sexy. Har Mar Superstar oozes almost as much confidence as he does sweat during his physically demanding performances.

Friday night at Hypnotic Donuts
Our favorite stoner breakfast joint will be serving chicken and biscuits tonight, starting at 5:25 p.m.. The usually closed-by-noon Hypnotic Donuts is using tonight as a sort of trial run to gauge interest in expanding their hours.

Dustin Diamond at Hyenas
Though in recent years he's proven to be the biggest scumbag of the Saved By The Bell cast members, part of us believes it's all partly a calculated effort to distance himself his dorky Screech persona. He may even be a decent standup comedian. We don't know. We couldn't be bothered to stop watching videos of the Bayside High glee club singing “Friends Forever” long enough to check into it.

Marvin Hamlisch at The Meyerson
Since the dawn of time, only 11 humans have ever EGOTed (won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony). Of the 11, composer Marvin Hamlisch is the only one to have also won a Pulitzer and a Golden Globe. The Spy Who Loved Me composer will conduct the DSO tonight.

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