Sweat It Out In The Streets of a Runaway American Dream.

Before you head out to enjoy one of the busiest weekend this town has seen since the Super Bowl was in town a few years ago, we'd like to offer up a bit of advice: If a stranger snaps a photo of you in public this weekend, uploads it to Instagram and tags you in it, you should probably come out and verify this person's age right away before you even bother to send creepy, failed hookup attempts their way.

Or, presuming you're not James Franco: Should you happen to spot the Pineapple Express star among the throngs of 40,000 waiting to see Bruce Springsteen this Sunday, you might want to keep your kids away.

Y'know, just in case.

Friday
White Denim at Granada Theater
Unlike its last time through town — when the band performed its set betwixt racks of $100 shirts at the Steven Alan grand opening — White Denim will do its thing from a proper stage tonight. Since that showing, the band has also released its new Jeff Tweedy-produced Corsicana Lemonade LP, a disc that adds Americana charm into the band's brand of Pink Floyd-nodding progressive rock. For what it's worth, it's the band's most immediately accessible effort to date. — Cory Graves

White Fang at Three Links
The Pitchfork-approved Portland DIY punks in White Fang headline this bill, which also features some of best of DFW's own punk outfits. Sealion, we might add, will release their recently recorded third album via Portland label Hovercraft Records later this summer. Fungi Girls and Howler Jr. also perform. — CG

March Madness Music Festival at Reunion Park
We told you there was reason beyond sports fandom to get excited about the 2014 NCAA Final Four coming to North Texas, and here it is: The March Madness Music Festival, a free, NCAA-sponsored concert series, is set to go down in Reunion Park for the next three days, and it kicks off at 3 p.m. this afternoon with free performances from Jason Aldean, Eli Young Band, The Wild Feathers and Jack Ingram. Suck on all that, every other festival in North Texas this year. — Pete Freedman

MTV RE:DEFINE at Dallas Contemporary
For the third year in a row, MTV brings its RE:DEFINE art exhibition/auction to Dallas in advance of the annual Art Fair. The Joyce and Kenny Goss co-chaired event will feature 80 artists and a performance from Brooklyn's Starred. Among the items being auctioned off tonight will be tickets and backstage passes to see Elton John in Vegas and a studio tour with Damien Hirst. Proceeds will benefit the MTV Staying Alive Foundation, a global HIV awareness and prevention charity. — CG

Deep Ellum Arts Festival
Have you ever really admired the generic landscape paintings that fill your doctor's waiting room and wondered where you could get something similar to hang in your own home? This weekend, the streets of Deep Ellum will be shut down from Hall to Good-Latimer for the 20th annual Deep Ellum Arts Festival. Throughout the weekend, over 100 bands will perform spread across five stages while 200 not-at-all-Deep-Ellum-based visual artists display and sell their doctor's-office-ready wares. Also: Food trucks, too, because, duh. — CG

Dallas International Film Festival
Since founding in 2006, DIFF's organizers have made showcasing important films a clear point of their mission. They accomplish this by screening all forms of independent cinema, too, from classic, early films to ones still months away from release. The significance of all of this? Hey, every director started with nothing but an idea. And DIFF's decision to put these incarnations of those ideas on blast is a very cool thing. This weekend is just the first in the fest's 11-day run, and the whole thing's gonna be dominating town for the next week-plus. So, get used to it. And check out our picks for five can't-miss films being show throughout it. — Chase Whale

TunnelVisions Live Mural Contest at Deep Ellum Arts Festival
Unlike the majority of the Deep Ellum Arts Festival's other vendors, this weekend-long live mural contest will actually feature some of the city's best artists. Starting tonight, 30 artists from across the city will meet at the corner of Crowdus and Elm Streets to participate in a battle to the death. Not really, but they will be competitively painting for cash prizes. The artists are required to paint 4-by-8-foot panels attached to pop-ups within a four-hour time limit. Talk about pressure. — PP

Friday on the Green at Magnolia Green Park
Though names like Ronnie Heart and Oil Boom don't hold quite the same weight as Bruce Springsteen and The Killers, they'll still be heading up their own free, outdoor concert over in the Fort this weekend. Unlike the March Madness Music Fest, though, parking at this one — which kicks off the sixth season of this free, monthly concert series — will be totally easy to find. Oh, and they'll totally let you bring in your own lawn chairs, too. — CG

Mother Falcon at Dan's Silverleaf
What began as an after-school jam session among a bunch of high school marching bandmates has evolved into the 18-piece symphonic rock outfit Mother Falcon. And here we thought the diminishing nature of band payouts these days had pretty much guaranteed we'd never again see another up-and-coming outfit dreaming of becoming the next Polyphonic Spree. Well, wrong again. Leoncarlo and Chinaski open. — CG

David Allan Coe at Billy Bob's
Tonight, as you're watching Coe sing all them songs about Texas, consider making a drinking game out of it. It's easy, too: Just take a sip every time he mentions another famous country musician by name. If you really feel like taking things up a notch, you can also chug every time he boasts about being a quote-unquote outlaw. Just make sure to designate a driver. — CG

Mustache Envy at Sue Ellen's
The members of Dallas' premiere drag king collective will each perform new routines to their favorite showtunes tonight. — CG

Lydia at Trees
Though these guys have been a band for 11 years now, they're still barely old enough to drink at their own shows. Whereas other people their age grew up, went to college, etc. — see former tourmates PlayRadioPlay!, for example, who dropped the whole mall-punk schtick in favor for the more “grown up” stadium lo-fi sound of Analog Rebellion — this group has clung tight to the kind of poppy indie-rock that brought them to the dance in the first place. HRVRD and Golden Sun open. — CG

Saturday
Booker T. at Granada Theater
What can you say about Booker T. Jones that hasn't already been said at some point in his 50-year career as a musician? He wrote the classic instrumental “Green Onions” while he was still in high school for fuck's sake. And we all know how much film's like Sandlot owe to that iconic jam, in particular. Quaker City Night Hawks and Chris Watson Band open. — CG

Great Bull Run at Texas Motorplex
If you feel like putting on your waiver-signing pants, there are people in town that'll actually let you pay them for the opportunity to run for your life with 20 full-grown bulls hot on your heels. A tomato battle and lots of thank-god-I'm-still-alive beers will follow. — CG

Ben Kweller at Shipping & Receiving
The goal of Shipping and Receiving's new “South Main Saturdays” series, which makes its second go tonight, is to put big-name national acts into their intimate 350-capacity venue while keeping ticket prices well below market value. This sure-to-sell-out Ben Kweller gig, for instance, will cost just $15 to attend. — CG

Sevendust (acoustic) at Trees
In an interview with Billboard last year, Sevendust drummer/lyricist Morgan Rose pretty much summed up everything one needs to know about the band's latest LP: “We didn't have any songs, but everybody grabbed their station and kind of picked up whatever needed help or work, and we were able to bang out it with nothing but riffs.” Whether you just involuntarily eye-rolled or found yourself inexplicably making a rock fist is pretty telling in more ways than one as far as this one goes. Either way, it's curious that such a heavy, riff-dependent act would opt to turn in an all-acoustic performance tonight. — CG

Final Four at AT&T Stadium
This NCAA men's basketball semi-finals will hold a double-header this evening at Jerry World. The 5:09 p.m. game will see UConn (30-8) facing off against Florida (36-2). Later, the 7:49 p.m. affair will see Kentucky (28-10) going up against Wisconsin (30-7). Who cares how fucked your billion-dollar bracket is? These guys are why both Springsteen and Conan are here this week. — CG

March Madness Music Festival at Reunion Park
The second free, outdoor concert of the weekend will feature The Killers, Tim McGraw and LL Cool J. Downbeat for LL is at 1:30 p.m., but you should probably leave the house well before noon if you want to have a shot at catching The Killers' 7:30 p.m. set. — CG

Big Texas Beer Fest at Fair Park
More than 400 beers representing more than 90 breweries will be represented at this festival. Needless to say, all of the state's greatest beers will be on hand for sampling today. Well, with one notable exception. — CG

Denton Does Big Star at Lola's
As they've done a handful of times since last year's Fort Worth Rock Assembly, RTB2, Tony Ferraro and Daniel Markham will join forces at this one to pay homage to Big Star following original sets from RTB2, Markham and Fort Worth's War Party. — CG

Dallas Derby Devils at Nytex Sports Centre
It's the roller derby team's season-opening bout! — CG

Local Motion: Rockstar Fitness Camp at Sammons Park
Learn moves like Pete Townshend's windmill, Chuck Berry's duck walk and David Lee Roth's kick splits at this free, weekly rock 'n' roll fitness series that'll go down every Saturday this month. OK, they won't actually teach you any of things. But you'll stop being fat. — CG

The Paintings of George W. Bush* at CentralTrak: The UT Dallas Artists Residency
On Saturday, the 43rd president will be displaying the painting hobby he's taken up in his retirement at his presidential library here in Dallas. Almost certainly, this will cement Bush as the most famous outsider artist of all-time. But, anyway, good luck getting into that show. Thankfully, CentralTrak, in collaboration with sketch group Children of Artemis, will present a show of faithfully reproduced works that'll be on display in an easier-to-get-into setting. CentralTrak will even have their own version of Bush (read: a lookalike) present so you can take your requisite selfies. The starts at 7 p.m. and goes until 10. Plus, it will be a much less stuffy affair than the one at the presidential library. — Jeremy Hughes

Sunday
The World's Largest Dinosaurs at Perot Museum of Nature and Science
The collective skin of an individual human being weighs, on average, 7.5 pounds. If you've ever wondered how much the largest dinosaur's skin weighed compared to a puny human, well, you'll get your answer at the Perot Museum starting with today's opening of its new “The World's Largest Dinosaurs” exhibit. Other questions you'll find answers to at this one include: How could something that huge actually exist and live in the day-to-day? How much did these beasts have to eat to survive? How did they even pump blood throughout their massive network of veins? And why — for the love of god, why — did they have such dinky heads? — Jeremy Hughes

S. Carey and White Hinterland at Three Links
Four years after breaking through with her stellar Kairos LP, White Hinterland's Casey Dienel released its followup earlier this week, which features even darker, hazier tunes with dance-ready hooks. — CG

March Madness Music Festival at Reunion Park
As far as this three-day outdoor music fest goes, they definitely saved the best for last. Closing out the weekend's festivities will be none other than Bruce Springsteen and his E Street Band. Also performing? fun., Pat Green and The Wind & The Wave. Though the park holds 40,000 fans, organizers say they're expecting to turn 20,000 late-comers to the first-come, first-served event away at the gate. That is to say, we wouldn't expect to find any parking in Downtown on Sunday. — CG

Little D Farmer's Market at Trinity Groves
The Little D Farmer's Market, despite its name, isn't a Denton-based entity. Rather, the name references the market's taking a stand against the “everything is bigger in Texas” cliche and its focus on hosting vendors whose food is grown or produced within 150 miles of Dallas. The new thrice monthly market will kick off tonight at Trinity Groves' Four Corners Brewery. For a list of vendors and market schedules, head here. — PP

Pet Parade at Deep Ellum Arts Festival
One of the only things about the Deep Ellum Arts Festival that we look forward to each year is the annual pet parade that signals the fact that the vendors clogging up our favorite neighborhood will soon pack their things and head to the next town. Participating pets are judged on a combination of talent, personality and costumes. But I think we can agree we're all the winners here. — CG

The Benson Movie Interruption at Alamo Drafthouse
Comedian Doug Benson is no stranger to sending up popular cinema. Back in 2007, he released the documentary Super High Me, a Morgan Spurlock-style parody that saw him smoking weed for 30 days in a row. Tonight, he'll go where Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Master Pancake have gone before him, sitting in the front row of one of Alamo Drafthouse's theaters and riffing on Jurassic ParkCG

Duck Commander 500 at Texas Motor Speedway
Between the Final Four in Arlington, both the Stars and Mavericks fighting for the last playoff spot in their respective leagues, and Yu Darvish making his first start of the season, this is one of the busiest sports weekends in recent memory. Add to that today's NASCAR Sprint Cup race at TMS, which will also mark the debut of Big Hoss, the world's largest high-definition screen. Actually, we won't know that for certain until the Guinness Book folks officially measure and certify the 220-foot-wide, 100-foot-tall screen is, indeed, the world's biggest. They'll do that today. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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