Let's Do The Warped Tour, Again.

Apparently frustrated by the lack of decent schnitzel in the forest, a Colorado Springs bear decided to abscond with the Edelweiss Restaurant's dumpster Wednesday night.

As you can see on the video, the bear sniffs around the dumpster, stands on his or her hand legs and pushes it out of the frame like a shopping cart.

Two takeaways: Bears are really strong– honestly who is going to stop that thing from doing whatever it wants with the dumpster– and, second, how could you possibly watch the video and not immediately think of Yogi and a pic-a-nic basket?

Anyway, as you're out and about this weekend, watch out for animals with a taste for ethnic cuisine, and thank your lucky stars that, around these parts, you're far more likely to see a Tex-Mex loving armadillo than a bear jonesing for potato pancakes.

Friday
Sharknado at the UA Galaxy Stadium 10
Tara Reid! Ian Ziering! Sharks! In a tornado! It's a fucking Sharknado people! Catch the SyFy channel movie that wasn't popular anywhere but Twitter on the big screen at a special midnight showing. Even better? The screening will include special bonus footage that didn't originally air in the TV version! —Stephen Young

Planet Of The Apes 35mm Print at Texas Theatre
Always wanted a valid excuse to yell, “Take your stinking paw off me, you damn dirty ape!” to the guy using your armrest at the movies? Well, tonight you can! Catch a 35mm print of the original version of this sci-fi classic tonight. Just don't spoil the twist ending for any of the n00bs you happen to run across. —Jessica Petrocchi

QuakeCon 2013 at Hilton Anatole
North America's largest — and the world's largest free — LAN party returns to the Hilton Anatole for the 18th time. The festivities include the traditional BYOC (Bring Your Own Computer) event and competitive, cash-prize tournaments in the many iterations of the party's namesake franchise. Things you'll need if going to this one: a gaming rig, a couple of cases of Red Bull and very little desire to sleep over the course of the weekend. —SY

Vans Warped Tour at Gexa Energy Pavilion
The 19th incarnation of primordial pop-punk festival the Van's Warped Tour lands at Gexa on Friday. This year's lineup includes Hawthorne Heights, Man Overboard and Motion City Soundtrack. Locals Forever the Sickest Kids will be at the fest too –just be wary if their merch guy tries to sell you a watch. —Stephen Young

Urban Vineyard Grand Opening
The folks behind the downtown beer and wine retailers Urban Vineyard will be hosting their official ribbon cutting ceremony from 4 to 9 p.m. The event will include a free liquor tasting hosted by Belvedere Vodka. The store will also offer local craft brews and fresh food bites for attendees. —Erika Lambreton

Deep Ellum Brewing's Dallas Blonde Birthday Party at Katy Trail Ice House
This weekend the local brewers celebrate the one-year anniversary of their Dallas Blonde launch with another huge party at Katy Trail Ice House, who hosted the initial launch. That night they sold over 1,000 pints at the popular bar, but they're hoping to top that this time around. They'll have a limited number of collector goblets, Dallas Blonde pins, and tons of other free DEBC swag to give away. —EL

A Midsummer's Night with The Monkees at Verizon Theatre
Following the “euphoric” reaction to last year's fall tour, the surving members of The Monkees are hitting the road once again. Apparently, the set is a chronological performance of their hits, featuring photos and videos from the vault to really take you back in time. It's like they say: Once a believer, always a believer. —Zoe Mattioli

Overseas, Monahans at The Live Oak
Overseas, the locally-centric supergroup built around Will Johnson of Centro-matic, David Bazan and Bedhead's Kadane brothers, hits Dan's following the June release of its self-titled debut album. The collaboration between the longtime friends — and the interplay of Johson and Bazan's alternating vocals especially — is at once intriguing and a tad jarring. On the whole, though, it's a combination that rarely fails to disappoint. Expect the band and the packed house alike to enjoy themselves quite a bit at this one. If you missed them last night at Dan's Silverleaf you've got one more chance to right your wrongs before the band leaves town. —SY

Much More Than Human at Circuit 12 Contemporary
For one week only, Circuit12 Contemporary will be hosting a pop-up exhibition featuring the paintings of Nicola Leoni. There will be two opening receptions for the show, titled Much More Than Human, so there's really no excuse to miss this rare opportunity to see the Italian painter's work. —Elaine Sun

Chris Porter at Hyena's
Comedian Chris Porter, best known for being a finalist on season four of Last Comic Standing, turns up for a weekend's worth of sets at Mockingbird Station's Hyena's. He's from Olathe, Kansas, which incidentally is one of the primary settings for Truman Capote's In Cold Blood. Why does that matter, you ask? Because Porter frequently likes to drop his particular brand of “Midwest wisdom” on his audience. Trust us: It's funnier than it sounds. Anyway, go check it out. You might learn a thing or two. —SY

Ralphie May at Addison Improv
On the heels of his Too Big To Ignore comedy special — his fourth for Comedy Central — plus-sized comedian Ralphie May will serve up all the laughs you can handle this weekend. He's a big dude, sure, but he's never let that hold him back. Expect many jokes about food. —JP

Whirr at Dada
Lose yourself in Whirr's loud, ambient sound at Dada. The California shoegazers sound a lot like guitarist Nick Bassett's last project, Deafheaven — who also played Dada about a month ago — albeit without all the screaming vocals. Even as great as that show was, we'd still say that's a good thing. Bring your earplugs to this one; Even before the headliners take the stage openers Rocket Arm, Boyfrndz and Narrow Head will throw down an aural gauntlet of their own. —SY

Scott H. Biram at Three Links
Sure, he may be just a guy sitting on stage with an acoustic guitar, but don't expect Biram to do any wistful numbers about lost loves or his dying dog while he's doing his “dirty old one man band” thing at Three Links. The country-punk provocateur always brings it, not only employing the aforementioned guitar, but an entangled series of amps and microphones as well. Head to Deep Ellum to see what kind of racket one man can truly make. —SY

Men in Black Outdoor Screening at Pegasus Plaza
Main Street Garden's summer film series moves to Pegasus Plaza this week due to lawn repair at the park. Take note if you want to catch Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Lara Flynn Boyle et al. in the popcorn classic, Men in Black. The screening starts at 8:45, so it shouldn't be too hot at least. —SY

Wave Back w/ Yeahdef and Ronnie Heart at The Crown & Harp
For years DJ Yeahdef's weekly '80s and '90s nights nearly singlehandedly kept Hailey's Club in business. At least that's the way we remember it. For his current monthly residency at the Lower Greenville spot Yeahdef (along with a different special guest DJ each month) will be spinning dance tracks, house music, and pretty much anything that keeps the vibe in the venue's upstairs lounge ultra funky. Tonight's guest will be Ronnie Heart. —Cory Graves

Saturday
KHYI Cooler 'n Hell Festival at Southfork Ranch
If the most recent season of Dallas show hasn't totally ruined Southfork for you, Ray Wylie Hubbard headlines the KHYI 95.3 Cooler 'N Hell Festival at the Ewings' place. But if there was anything to bring you back to the fake oil drilling site, it would be country music and midget wrestling. Maybe. —JP

This Will Kill You, Texas Debauchery Lesson 1 at Wit's End
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. While bands like Damage Case, The Golden Boys, Fungi Girls, Urine Trouble, Street Arabs, John Wayne's Bitches and the dozen others playing at this fest's two stages may not literally murder you tonight, they'll at the very least leave your eardrums severely beaten. —CG

Coffee & Doughnutz Art Show at The Basement Gallery
Head out to Oak Cliff's Basement Gallery for a food-themed art show that will feature pieces inspired by — and in some cases created with — coffee and donuts. Aside from live music, screen printing, body painting, and a performance by so-called donut belly dancers, there will, of course, be a limited supply of coffee and donuts on hand as well. For a $10 donation at the door, you can also help these cool cats expand the gallery and bring more events to the OC. —Nicole Arnold

Kill Paris at Lizard Lounge
Kill Paris is kind of like the disco sweetheart of the electronic music world. His future funk and R&B remixes are just as suitable a soundtrack for roller-blading around to as they are for baby-making. Just something to keep in mind should you find yourself dancing with strangers at the Lounge. —ZM

The Von Ehrics, Convoy & the Cattlemen and Driftin' Outlaw Band at Three Links
Longtime local country-punks The Von Ehrics have played more shows in Sydney, Australia, this year than they have in Dallas. Now that just ain't right. It's a situation they'll try to remedy as they headline a show at Three Links that also features our favorite dubstep-listening, invincible van-driving hardcore country and western act Convoy & the Cattlemen and the Driftin' Outlaw Band. —SY

Fishboy 7-Inch Release at Rubber Gloves
Say what you will about Eric “Fishboy” Michener's musical output, but there's no arguing the fact that each of his releases since 2007's Albatross has been extraordinarily well thought-out and wonderfully packaged. As the band celebrate the release of their IAMAVOLCANO 7-inch at this show you can bet that trend will continue: The concept album which chronicles the tale of a man who inexplicably turns into a volcano will come printed on a special edition brown vinyl with red label meant to resemble a bird's eye view of a volcano. Also? it will come with hand-letter-pressed jackets that open to reveal an exploding volcano, plus a 16-page comic delving deeper into the tale. Denton bands Two Knights and Savage and the Big Beat open. —CG

Beatles vs Stones at Dan's Silverleaf
Dan's takes a stab at one of the world's most enduring questions: The Beatles or the Stones? In the Beatles corner is Denton fab four tribute act The Savage Beatles who'll be doing their damndest to fill those legendary shoes. Meanwhile, the Stones will be represented by BarBand (read: Grady Sandlin, Ryan Thomas Becker, Jeffrey Gruber and Tony Ferraro), who'll place their focus tonight especially on the band's early hits. Settle the debate once and for all, or maybe just go home as confused as ever. Sounds like a win-win to us. —SY

Sunday
Lakewood Brewing Company's One-Year Anniversary Party at Goodfriend
To mark their one-year anniversary, Lakewood Brewing Co. is returning to the site of last year's launch. They'll celebrate with the release of their special first anniversary beer, a barrel-aged, Belgian-style Imperial IPA, as well a series of one-off brews made especially for the event. Once again Goodfriend is hosting, so you know they'll be no shortage of that good ol' bread soda. —JP

Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival at Gexa Energy Pavilion
We'd be remiss if we didn't use the occasion of telling you about the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival, which features a performance by Rob Zombie, to get you to watch this video. Okay, now that your day's complete here's the rest of the info: Fellow metalcore acts Five Finger Death Punch and Mastodon share the top of the bill, so expect to get all the thrashing you can handle — and then some — in Fair Park. —SY

Courtney Love at House of Blues
Fairly or unfairly, Courtney Love gets a bad rap. Sure, she often behaves erratically and there are a lot questions about her marriage to, and effect on, Kurt Cobain, but it's unfortunate that this stuff overshadows her music. For what it's worth her work with Hole is actually pretty important. First, it's good — Live Through This especially — and second, the band's work serves as an important counterbalance in a grunge scene that was, otherwise, mostly dominated by men. Go give the pioneer her due at House of Blues. —SY

Bad Rabbits at Prophet Bar
You hear the word “soul” associated with Bad Rabbits a lot, but if you hear one of the collective's albums or see them live, expect to have your expectations subverted. Sure, the soul instruments and dance elements are there, but so too is a menacing punk undercurrent. It's a sound many haven taken to calling the “New Crack Swing.” —SY

Eyes, Wings And Many Other Things, Year Of The Bear at The Crown & Harp
You probably shouldn't go to this one if you have an important phone call to make tomorrow — or any time next week really. Locals Eyes, Wings and Many Other Things and Year of the Bear are a lot of things, but most of all they are loud. Like really, really effin' loud. Expect to have your middle ear, and much of the rest of your anatomy, rattled if you plan on heading out to the tiny Greenville Avenue bar. —SY

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