Watch as Those Darlins and The Old 97's Join Forces at the House of Blues.

Oh, hey! It's the last free weekend until it's back to school! Have you bought one of those packages of colorful gel pens yet? If not, do you hate fun? Seriously, stop reading this immediately if that's the case, fun-hater, because the rest of this article is filled with fun things to do. Nothing you'd be interested in, obviously, so move along! OK, for all of you that rest firmly in the “pro-fun” department, here's what's going on this weekend.

Friday
Old 97s and Those Darlins at House of Blues
Dallas darlings the Old 97s and Those Darlins (who couldn't find anyone to claim them as their darlings so they had to settle as “those” darlings) will perform together at this show, which will serve as a celebration for the 15th anniversary of the, let's face it, best Old 97's album, Too Far to Care. The hometown heroes will be playing that seminal album in full at this gig.

These United States at Lola's
These United States play and tour so much that bandleader Jesse Elliot lists “my van” as his home address on his official government paperwork. Last year, though, he and his band whittled down their touring schedule to a paltry 100 shows. Pretty lazy, don't you think?

Silent Disco at The Green Elephant
Twelve different DJs will perform at this six-hour-long event, which kicks off at 10 p.m. and goes into the wee hours of the morning. It's kind of a novel event, too, as, at this show, the DJs' music won't be blasting through a P.A. system; instead, it's broadcast through radio channels, which attendees can hear through headphones handed out at the door. You can pick the DJ you want to listen to — or you can just take your headphones off and laugh at the audacity of it all.

Quaker City Night Hawks at Live Oak
After Quaker City Night Hawks played our four-month anniversary, Jeremy wrote for us that “it's impossible not to shake your ass while they are playing.” Hop to it, potential ass-shakers!

Adult Spelling Bee at Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios
When you're a kid and you win a spelling bee, you're a champion. When you're an adult and you win a spelling bee, you are probably a sad individual. Thus, tonight's gathering of sad individuals, where those who think they can spell “abattoir” properly will compete to be the best at spelling things. Last year's winner, Microsoft Office Word Spellcheck, called the competition “great fun.”

Saturday
Arts Conspiracy Presents RZN8
Datahowler, Kirby Brown, Spook Easy and Home By Hovercraft will perform as 30 works of art are auctioned off at RZN8. Along with that, the Black Swan Saloon will serve alcohol, and the Nammi and Dough Boys Pizza trucks will be parked outside, next to a man with a surprisingly large set of scratch-n-sniff stickers (so that you can indulge all of the senses).

Assassination City Roller Derby: Special Ops vs ICT Rollergirls
After my roller derby team, “The Crybabies” was rejected from the league, I've been pretty bitter about Assassination City Roller Derby. If you're in the mood to see some pretty tough teams perform, though, Special Ops and ICT Rollergirls will give you that option, while me and my team weep silently in the corner.

DJ Red Eye's Birthday Bash at It'll Do
It's DJ Red Eye's birthday! (Gift idea: Visine!) Celebrate by dancing all night and staying up so late that you too get red eyes.

The Roomsounds, Quaker City Night Hawks and The 71's at Prophet Bar
For fans of nostalgic 70s-inspired rock, there's nothing better to do than catch this show.

Journey at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Journey knows that, despite their constant pleas for you not to, you stopped believing years ago. So here they come to administer your punishment.

Tabula Rasa, The Chemistry Set, Sunward and Salim Nourallah
Back in the early '90s, Tabula Rasa was a pretty big deal, serving one of the scene's shining bright spots until they broke up just a few years after forming. The band's members then went on to form a number of other local bands, including The Chemistry Set and Sunward. Makes sense, then, that those two bands join Tabula Rasa at this reunion show, which doubles as Sunward's EP release show.

ThreadCount Fashion Show at Continental Lofts
The Green Bandana group has struck gold of late (sorry, green!) with their recent #popUPdallas events, the most recent of which is this dance-party-meets-fashion-show where you'll find some of the city's finest T-shirt designers mingling with some of its best DJs. Oh, and there's this: After you pay your $10 cover to get in, all your drinks are free.

Doughnut Eating Contest at Hypnotic
While you're eating the doughnuts at this competition, they get progressively hotter in each round, until you're basically eating lava and your entire body is a hollowed-out carapace burned from the Holy Donut Heat. You'll have a total of 10 minutes to eat the most spicy doughnuts, and, if you succeed, you are crowned Emperor of Round Things and you receive a free doughnut called “The Mexico” each week until the end of the year. Entry is $10.

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