Come For The Water.

What gives you more hipster cred than bragging about liking a band before everyone else? Until recently, though, there's been no qualitative way to determine whether or not that's actually true.

Enter the new Found Them First app for Spotify that crawls your activity and determines which artists you streamed before at least 85 percent of the rest of the service's users. We're not sure if liking Lorde before 99 percent of the rest of you chumps really makes us that cool or not but, hey, we'll take it.

And now that we've definitively proven just how cool we are, you know you can trust our recommendations for ways to spend your upcoming weekend in North Texas. At the very least, you can tell all your friends you got the scoop before they did. — Cory Graves

Friday
Dia de los Toadies (Night 1) at Panther Island Pavilion
Recently, the Toadies premiered a cut from their new Heretics LP via Spin. And while the subdued new LP doesn't officially earn its release until September 18, folks who show up to the low key first night of this year's Dia — y'know, the annual tradition that spawned the disc in the first place — will receive a free, signed copy of the disc. Sarah Jaffe opens. — CG

The Tallest Man on Earth at House of Blues
Turns out the so-called tallest man on earth is only 5' 7'' and from Sweden. Watch out, he's making an appearance in Dallas and coming with a sound that's a bit similar to Bob Dylan in his lyrics and delivery, so give him a warm welcome. The also very cool Lady Lamb opens, and you can find an interview we did with her when she was in town earlier this spring here. — Lauren Kuehmeier

Twin Shadow at South Side Music Hall
George Lewis Jr., or Twin Shadow, released his first album, Forget, on Taylor's Terrible Records label, but the album was later picked up by 4AD. The change was a good choice on Twin Shadow's part, because being with a label with “Terrible Records” doesn't sound very smart. And the switch has worked out for him, these days, as he's celebrating his third album release for Eclipse, his brand of formerly underground dance pop is more popular than ever. — Carly Seitz

El Ten Eleven at Trees
Instrumental post-rock power duo El Ten Eleven love using looping pedals to create huge sonic works. At the same time, they hate it when you call them a math rock duo, which they decidedly are not. Maybe next they'll decide to finally be fed up with reviewers that continue to use tired lines like “I can't believe two guys create all that sound,” to describe the band's efforts. It's something you've just got to see in person to really get. And on el nine eleven you can do just that. — CG

Friday on the Green at Magnolia Green Park (Free)
Headlining Fort Worth's free, monthly outdoor concert series for its September edition is Chris Watson, who'll be joined by Ryan Tharp and Hannah Clair. Food trucks and local brews will be on hand, too. Bring a blanket and/or lawn chair, because the weather looks to be sublime. — CG

Chamillionaire at The Live Oak
Why wasn't Chamillionaire a mainstay in the mainstream? Someone explain that to me, please. He's awesome. He's got so much more than “Ridin'” in his bag, and he's a great performer to boot. — Mikel Galicia

The Man Who Fell to Earth at Inwood Theatre
David Bowie plays a humanoid alien in The Man Who Fell to Earth and, well, falls to Earth. He's out to get some water for his dying home planet. But, he eventually gets caught up in love, trickery and greed. Because humans. Can he make it? Find out tonight at Inwood as part of Inwood's Midnight Madness series. — Diamond Victoria

The Numerators, Mink Coats, Abacaba at J&J's
We'll admit that we poured a few drops of our malt liquor out on the sidewalk a few years back when Lubbock psych-punk outfit The Numerators announced that it was moving to Brooklyn. Now, though, the Texas natives are back in Texas this weekend, playing the dank confines of the famed Denton basement with like-minded locals Mink Coats and Abacaba. — CG

Fundraiser at The cOoompound
Since picking back up, where Two Bronze Doors left off at the start of this year, shows at the cOoompound house in far North Dallas have only continued to grow in anticipation and capacity. The monthly occurrences are only getting wilder. Thus it's come to a point where consistency with a proper sound system is in high demand. This particular cOoompound gathering, with many friends of the space (read: Aztec Death, Duo Contra, Bare Mountain, Field Guide, J'onii R'yall, Jesus Chris + the Beetles) is set around getting a PA, among other amenities to keep the space growing. So as you come out and have good time, know your dollar goes further into this creative culture we're gradually cultivating. — Evan Henry

International Roller Derby Championships at Irving Convention Center
Derby playoffs come to Dallas for all of those who have ever been interested in what the hell that looks like. Or perhaps you've seen Whip It and felt the urge to get a crowd perspective. There will be shoving, falling, elbows and trips all while balancing on skates. Sounds like a good time. — LK

Hand Drawn Records Presents: Cancer Jam 2015 at Courtyard Theater
While planning his second annual cancer fundraising event, Hand Drawn Records' Dustin Blocker learned his mother Linda had been diagnosed with stage 4 breast, lymphatic and bone cancer. He's tapped Hand Drawn affiliated acts Andrew Tinker, Brandon Callies, Christi Blocker, Jesse Anderson, Johnny Beauford, Kyle Istook, Robert Cody Maxwell, Scott Tucker, Stephen Beatty and Whiskey Sour to perform at this benefit, which has since taken something of a more personal turn. — CG

Vandoliers (Album Release) at Lola's
Locally hailed as something of a supergroup, Vandoliers releases its debut batch of rock 'n' roll infused country — dubbed Ameri-Kinda — at this official Dia de los Toadies after-party. Dead Flowers and Chucho open, and admission is free with a Dia ticket. — EH

KVIL's Poptopia at South Side Ballroom
Needtobreathe, Andy Grammer, Elle King, Rachel Platten and Banks round out the bill that you and your mom can both agree on. — CG

Erik Griffin at Addison Improv
Erik Griffin, better known as Montez Walker from Comedy Central's Workaholics, shows off his stand up skills at Addison Improv tonight. On the show, Griffin plays a grumpy co-worker to the trio of protagonists. But his real-life passion is standup comedy. His first performances in town this weekend kick off tonight. But if you miss those, he'll be back tomorrow and all next weekend. Bonus points if you can name where he pops up in the most recent Arrested Development episodes. — Jessica Petrocchi

Chris Tellez and Friends at Dallas Comedy House
For two shows tonight, Dallas Comedy House becomes Austin Comedy House for the evening as Chris Tellez, Jay Whitecotton and Jon Mendoza make the three-hour drive north for the sake of some laughs, while Dallas' own Clint Werth represents NTX quite capably. — CG

Snarky Puppy at The Prophet Bar
Earlier this year, the Grammy-winning Denton jazz outfit released its major label debut, Sylvia, which topped the iTunes Jazz Chart in its first week. Denton expats Foe Destroyer are one of the few more rocking outfits with the chops to hang here. — CG

Bruce Robison's Honky-Tonk Band at Kessler Theater
Unlike the last several times through town, in which he's performed duets with his wife Kelly Willis, Robison will be rolling stag tonight, fronting his aptly-named honky-tonk outfit. Guys night out? — CG

Christopher “Kid” Reid at Hyena's (Dallas)
In the early '90s, there was really nobody you'd rather have crash your pad all Cat in the Hat-style and throw a dance-centric rager while your parents were away than Kid 'n Play. Christopher “Kid” Reid's best Funky Charleston days are perhaps behind him — and his hair's a fraction of its former height these days — but far as we can tell from his frequent appearances on 1310-AM The Ticket, he's still maintained his sense of humor. — CG

(500) Days of Summer at Granada Theater
(500) Days of Summer has become a cult classic , not because it's some sort of hidden gem, it was a massive box office success, but it is true to the semantic order of the term — it's got a rabid fan base. Check out the surreal take on romance for only three bucks tonight. — HDB

Party Static, Moon Honey, Blue, the Misfit, Classic Cult at Three Links
Party Static, is well, just that. The band turns controlled chaos into a groove somewhat magically. The two lead vocalists play off of one another, screaming here, singing there, it's quite close to a storm of fun. Baton Rouge-based band Moon Honey and Dallas' own Blue, the Misfit open. — HDB

One-Year Anniversary at Cold Beer Co.
We were pretty stoked when Deep Ellum's newest watering hole opened last fall. And for good reason, as the bar's amazeballs patio is a welcome addition to the neighborhood, especially now that the weather's finally starting to cool down. To celebrate a year in business, CBC's partying with Madison King and The Rich Girls playing lives musics and, of course, mad drink specials. — CG

Supernatural Convention at Plano Centre
To celebrate its tenth season on the air, WB fantasy horror series is the subject of its own weekend-long convention. All the show's stars will be there, too, including native Dallasite Jensen Ackles. — CG

VeeCaravan Pop-Up Shop at Sisterbrother Mgmt
For the second time in recent months, Christine Visneau's putting together a pop-up shop this weekend with all her all kinds of adorable home goods, including ceramics, artwork, clothing, apothecary, jewelry and more, as well as free booze and tunes courtesy of Dallas sweethearts DJs Ariella Villa and Christopher Mosley. Find it all at SisBro HQ (307 W. Eighth St.) just across the street from The Wild Detectives. — CG

Megafauna at Double Wide
Defined as large or giant animals in terrestrial zoology, Megafauna is also an apt descriptor for the giant, guitar-heavy sound of the Austin band headlining D-Wide on Friday . The Megafauna playing this particular evening is touring on its third full-length entitled Maximalist, an album that pushes the boundaries previously set by the outfit, or so we're told. If expansive, over-the-top rock n' roll gets you going, well by all means, this might be your place. Igneous Grimm, Zhora and IBU open. — EH

Saturday
Dia de los Toadies (Night 2) at Panther Island Pavilion
This week, the Toadies, made its annual push towards the top of our weekly Buzz Rankings thanks to its namesake Dia de los Toadies festival that'll go down this weekend out in Fort Worth. This year's fest is an even bigger deal for the band, as it'll use Friday night's “almost acoustic” show to release its upcoming Heretics LP. Other locals playing the fest include SarahJaffe, as well as the reunited Burden Brothers and Buck Pets, plus Son of Stan, Gollay, Sealion and Holy Moly. — CG

Pete Holmes at Kessler Theater
First of all, this guy is the voice and writer of the E-Trade baby commercials. So you just know that his stand up is going to be pretty hilarious, if not a touch creepy. Actually, maybe awkward is a better descriptor — he is the host of the popular You Made it Awkward podcast, after all. He and opener Brent Sullivan are at the Kessler for a pair of shows this eve. — JP

BrewFest at Dallas Farmers Market
There's more than 400 beers from around the world to sample at this outdoor drinking festival. A dozen 2-ounce samples are included with the ticket price — that's like four whole beers, man. — CG

Dallas Chocolate Festival at Addison Conference Centre
Chocolate. What gets better than it, really? Melty, gooey goodness. I mean, there's a ton of ways you can enjoy it. So it's no wonder Dallas has its own festival dedicated to this milky wonder. Today, you can check out some samples from local, national and international vendors at the Addison Conference Centre. They've got everything from bonbons to chocolate sculptures. Bring your sweet tooth. — DV

Positive Vibes w/ Sunni Patterson at Sandaga 813
“It is our hope that by exposing the true conditions of “The Streets” (RATHER GOOD OR BAD) we as a people can come together to improve and grow once again.” So reads the mission of local non-profit Free the Streets. To help raise funds for the organization, poet and performer Sunni Patterson will be meeting, greeting and speaking her truth over in Expo Park. — CG

Patton Oswalt at Majestic Theatre (Cancelled)
Sorry, but this one's been postponed. Writes Oswalt on his Facebook page earlier this week: “My shows this week — Thursday in St. Louis, Friday in Denver, Saturday in Dallas and Sunday in New Orleans — have been postponed. There's a film project I'm committed to and the schedule has gotten very crazy. The director and producers have been nothing but cool trying to work it out, but today it became apparent that it would be impossible, time-wise, physics-wise and I'm-an-old-man-who-needs-his-grandma-sleep-wise. I'm working now to re-schedule these shows. They will be re-scheduled. I will visit your cities. But I'm also making a movie, and the movie will be in every city, so it's kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda like I'm coming to your city? In celluloid form?” — CG

“The Story With No Ending” at Circuit 12 Contemporary
Painter/scultpor Simon Bilodeau will be on hand this evening for the opening of his new solo exhibition, wich somehow features zero artworks inspired by Falcor or Atreyu. The exhibition runs through October 12. — CG

Turnpike Troubadours at Strauss Square
Finally, some virtuosic Red Dirt musicians that aren't all in-your-face about it — or the fact that they wear pearl snaps, drink beer and frequently operate farm equipment. Needless to say, their songs are better for it. The boys have a new album due out next Friday, which they'll likely be playing much material from at this outdoor show. — CG

Cultura Dura at Life in Deep Ellum (Free)
Mountain Dew and Remezcla have teamed up for a Latin Urban block party in Deep Ellum that'll feature performances from Paul Wall, Dustin Cavazos, Bombón DJs and Play-N-Skillz, among others. Entry to that one is free, so long as you RSVP here in advance. — CG

The Azalea Project, Dripping Wet, No Touching, Sad Cops at Sons of Hermann Hall
Don't let their ages discourage you, these are some of the best high school bands in town. These young musicians put on a good show and don't typically perform together. All Dallas or near- Dallas born and raised so come support your local future rockstars. — LK

Dallas Makerspace Open House
The community's shared workshop/laboratory is holding its fifth annual anniversary open house. It's organizers promise it'll be a “nerdy, artsy, inspiring good time.” — CG

Telegraph Canyon (Album Release) at Dan's Silverleaf
In the six years since the release of Telegraph Canyon's stunning sophomore The Tide and The Current LP, band frontman Chris Johnson went through some shit. First came a divorce. Then came an extended stint living out of an RV, a vehicle otherwise meant to serve as Telegraph Canyon's touring van. Over this stretch, his was indeed something of a transient life: Before returning permanently to the region, where he found boarding in an upstairs loft space above the Fort Worth venue Shipping & Receiving, he bounced between North Texas and New Orleans with head-spinning regularity. All the while, though, he and his bandmates found time to write and record the material that would eventually make up the eleven songs of his six-piece's third LP, You From Before, which you can pick up at this Denton release show. Doug Burr, Air Review and Bethan open. — Pete Freedman

Chuck Ragan at House of Blues
Chuck Ragan was once a pretty cool punk rocker, most notably as the frontman of Hot Water Music. But these days he's evolved into a pretty cool indie folker. Not convinced? He recently released a joint EP with Rocky Votolato that also features Lucero frontman Ben Nichols. This one's even presented by Stetson and everything. — Erika Lambreton

A Poem is a Naked Person at Texas Theatre
Though it was filmed over a two-year period in the '70s, Leon Russell documentary A Poem is a Naked Person never earned its release until this summer, purportedly due to issues clearing the rights to a couple dozen tunes used in the film. To mark the occasion 40 years in the making, Quaker City Night Hawks frontman Sam Anderson and country DJ Horshoes and Hand Grenades will provide some post-film tuneage. — CG

Indiana Jones Marathon at Alamo Drafthouse
Much as it pains us to admit it, there are actually four films in the Indy franchise, the three good ones, and the one where he gets raped by gets raped by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. All four will be shown in succession at this Alamo quadruple feature. Buckle up. — CG

Elaquent at Dada
Canadian producer Elaquent is a chill viber whose latest release has been called “hot yoga in the form of an album.” He performs at Dada along with Flamingosis and Junk Food. — CG

Southern Throwdown 3 at The Bomb Factory (Free)
Now Elm St. Tattoo is celebrating Saturday the 12th's, too? Like its now-annual Music and Tattoo Fest, this one will feature bands and booze in The Bomb Factory, but unlike the tattoo fest, which will take place at the venue in November, it'll be the all-Harley-Davidson motorcycle show serving as the centerpiece of this one. — CG

Sunday
JD Souther at Kessler Theater
Songwriting Hall of Famer John David Souther is quietly responsible for penning half-a-dozen of The Eagles' greatest hits, as well as songs from the Cry-Baby and Urban Cowboy soundtracks, among dozens of other successful tunes. At The Kessler he'll be taking them back into his own capable hands. — CG

Touchdown Tailgate Tasting at Expressions Home Gallery
Kicking off football season, local chefs will be competing in a tailgate food competition, benefiting Cafe Momentum. Chefs like Anastacia Quinones (Kitchen LTO) and Danyele McPherson (HG Supply Co, Remedy) will be challenged to serve their rendition on traditional tailgate food using pre-determined ingredients. The event takes place on Sunday, September 13 from 1 to 3 p.m. — Porttia Portis

The Boxmasters at Love and War in Texas (Plano)
The new album from Billy Bob Thornton's band has been called one of the best country albums of 2015 by Rolling Stone. Still, there's plenty that'll blindly dismiss any shows at this mom-friendly venue just because of the location. They're even better when you see them on purpose. — CG

R.L. Stine at Horchow Auditorium
With some 100 Goosebumpsbookes under his belt, horror writer R.L. Stine is one of the most prolific childrens authors of all-time. Something he's never done before now, though, is penning a picture book. He'll be in town premiering his first such work this weekend, along with illustrator and longtime collaborator Marc Brown. — CG

Metalachi at Trees
Metalachi is not your typical mariachi band. Metalachi, as its name implies, is a mariachi band that covers metal songs — the first of such group of its kind, or so the band's press materials insinuate. They do more than just that, of course. Over the course of one of their numerous previous stops through town in the past year or so, the band sprinkled in its takes on such traditional mariachi standards as “Volver Volver,” “Mariachi Loco” and “La Bamba” among its expected covers of Guns N' Roses' “Sweet Child O' Mine” and Bon Jovi's “Livin' on a Prayer.” It was an infectious offering, for sure. Mad Mexicans opens. — EL

Dallas Cowboys vs New York Giants Watching Party at The Bomb Factory (Free)
The Bomb Factory's big screen might not be as big as the one in Jerryworld but, hey, at least it's actually located in Dallas — zing! Sports radio 1310-AM The Ticket is holding its official Cowboys kickoff watching party here, too, with its personalities on the premesis. Are youready for some football? — CG

New Orleans Saints Watching Party at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Unlike a lot of other bars that suddenly turn Irish when St. Patrick's Day rolls around, or worse, all New Orleans-y when Mardi Gras is going down, Twilite sticks to its New Orleans dive theme year round. Seriously, though, it takes guts to show Saints games when everybody else has got the Cowboys game on. To that end, they don't totally shun the hometown team at Twilite, I mean we hear they do sometimes have Johnnie Walker Blue on ice to the menu — zing, again! — CG

Turquoise Jeep at Three Links
Turquoise Jeep is not just a rap collective, but a lifestyle brand, clothing line, record label, and series of viral videos via YouTube. More than that, says its members, “It's the art of expression.” — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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