Stick It Up Your Yeah.

It's Fourth of July weekend, which means there's a few given ways you'll likely wind up celebrating things these next few days.

Fireworks? Yeah, of course. Just know that they're even better when you watch them from a rooftop. Also, whether you're planning on entering a hot dog-eating contest or just looking for ways to spice up your own boring hot dogs, know that we can help you there, too.

That said, though, it wouldn't be a proper three-day weekend if we didn't also you a whole slew of other ways to celebrate the birth of 'Murica. So here's that. — Cory Graves

Friday
Porn and Chicken at Lizard Lounge
If the blend of hard dub blaring from a dirty club stereo and live acts of sexually explicit content is something that tickles your fancy, then shell out the $10 to $20 on something called the Porn and Chicken dance party. Once exclusive to the clubs of Chicago, demand has brought P&C south to Dallas and beyond. What a way to celebrate America! — Evan Henry

Fourth of July Picnic at Billy Bob's
No Willie? No problem! After playing host to Willie Nelson's Fourth of July Picnic the past few years, the Redheaded Stranger took his party back down south this year. As such, the world's largest honky tonk tapped his running buddy, Merle Haggard, to headline this year's festivities. Other big names on the bill include Ryan Bingham, Chris Stapleton, Green River Ordinance, American Aquarium, Crooks and more. — CG

Johnny Hootrock at Three Links
Austin's Johnny Hootrock, a psycho garage-a-billy band, with a drummer who has shared a bill with Roy Orbison and kept Bo Diddley's tempo steady onstage for a while. Think Johnny Cash meets The Ramones. Hard Fall Hearts, From Parts Unknown, Black Irish Texas and Rum Rebellion open. — Diamond Victoria

Two-Year Anniversary at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Before ever opening their bar, 1310-AM The Ticket producer Danny Balis and ex-Slobberbone bassist Jess Barr told us they chose the name Twilite Lounge because the name already carried with it its a certain level of cachet. It didn't take long, though, before the bar developed a reputation all its own thanks to its stellar reputation for stiff drinks, upscale dive-y decor, personable bartenders, a tight-knit clientele and the cleanest restrooms in Deep Ellum by a mile. This weekend the bar celebrates its two-year anniversary with a trio of free shows. First up is jangly local rockers, American Werewolf Academy and a somewhat-rare-these-days set from the rootsy Naptime Shake. — CG

Jaws at Inwood Theatre
There's trouble in the waters around a New England resort island. A bloodthirsty shark is out to kill in one of Steven Spielberg's earliest (and most memorable) films. Revisit the classic thriller that gave Spielberg his name at a pair of 40th anniversary midnight screenings. — DV

The Birds of Night, The Fieros, Brave Young Lion at Dan's Silverleaf
Expanding the band's creative efforts, Midlake's Joey McClellan and McKenzie Smith celebrate the Fourth of July as The Fieros, a red-blooded American rock 'n' roll band. With them come Denton's own Birds of Night and Brave Young Lion, two more acts that sure know how to party. — EH

Bobby Patterson at Bar Louie's (Fort Worth)(Free)
The Dallas native soul legend Bobby Patterson plays Bar Louie tonight as part of Good Record's free summer concert series. Patterson has worn many hats in the industry and has continued similar sounds to Otis Redding since the '60s. We'd get there early; it's first come, first served, and there's no cover. — DV

Bummer Vacation, Son of Stan at The Foundry (Free)
Holding down what is to be a sweltering introduction to July, Fort Worth post punk outfit Bummer Vacation dives right into the Foundry as part of a free series of shows throughout the year. Despite the name, these guys are anything but a bummer, so show your support in the local and dance your fears away. Oh, and did we mention Mr. Divorcepop, aka Fellow Fort Worthian Son of Stan will be there, too. — EH

Shae Torres at Shipping and Receiving
Often found hiding in the background of Last Comic Standing or IFC's Comedy Bang Bang is stand-up's Syrup Mountain himself, Shane Torres coming at you live at Shipping and Receiving for a very special comedy event. Plenty of food and drink options are available following the payment of a $10 cover at the door. — EH

Henderson Avenue Block Party
Celebrate your Fourth of July bar hopping style with a party that's spread down Henderson Ave. With it, expect shenanigans of all kinds the likes of booze pops, Jell-O shots, dollar hot dogs and, of course, Barcadia's own “redneck pool.” Live music from Feezy and Rebel, Zach Witness, DJ Red Eye and plenty more keep the party running deep into the 2 a.m. time slot. — EH

Addison's Kaboom Town at Addison Circle Park
The amount of people allowed into Addison Circle is more limited than ever for the event this year due to the unbelievable amounts of people who have been coming out the past few years to watch this ever-popular fireworks display. You'll need to arrive impossibly early and be prepared to settle in for the long haul in order to even stand a chance. Sure, the traffic will be completely miserable, but it'll still potentially worth it to see one of the best Independence Day fireworks shows in the entire country. Celebrations start at 5 p.m., but the fireworks don't start until 9:30 p.m. — Jessica Petrocchi

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Bluegrass Band at Levitt Pavilion (Free)
Blending the classic tracks from the Fab Four with that of traditional bluegrass instrumentation is something called Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Bluegrass Band which, throughout the years, has proven itself to be one of the most unique acts in the area. Paying tribute to the Beatles in this fashion has lead them to being the musical guest at this year's free Fourth of July celebration at the Levitt Pavilion in Arlington. — EH

David Gray at Verizon Theatre
David Gray made his way into movie soundtracks and young hearts with his breakthrough album, White Ladder. (It's a really good album if you haven't heard it.) He's made a few albums since then, and is currently on tour promoting his new LP, Mutineers. Like White Ladder, Mutineers is something you listen to . Amos Lee also performs. — Chase Whale

The Ongoing Concept at Sons of Hermann Hall
From a small town in Idaho comes christian metal outfit, The Ongoing Concept, which in May “brought the passion back to metalcore” with “Unwanted,” a single from the recently released Handmade full-length. Outlets, Via Versus and plenty more open. — EH

Aries Spears at Addison Improv
Though Spears is best known for his television work as part of Showtime series The Underground and holding the title of MADtv's second-longest tenured cast member, the comedian is no stranger to the stand-up game either. In fact, the 40-year-old Chicago native started receiving his first paying stand-up gigs when he was just 14. — CG

Saturday
Old 97's at Twilite Lounge (Free)
The Old 97's have played secret shows at Twilite before, sure, but never have the guys ever announced their intentions to play the tiny shotgun bar well in advance. Needless to say, when the band plays the patio as part of Twilite's second anniversary/Fourth of July throwdown this weekend it's gonna be fuckin' nuts. Just know that doors open at 4 p.m. and the bands start at 10:30. And there's no ins and outs, so plan accordingly. — CG

Third Eye Blind, Dashboard Confessional at South Side Music Hall
Scream some infidelities with Dashboard Confessional and its catalog of breakup tunes. Then, sing all the crazy words to “Semi Charmed Life” with Third Eye Blind tonight at South Side Ballroom. Seriously though, did you know that song was about crystal meth ? — DV

Fourth of July Picnic at Billy Bob's
You can't get more 'Merican than beer, hotdogs and live honky tonk tunes. You'll get plenty of all three on Day 2 of Billy Bob's Fourth of July Picnic, with the music portion provided by Turnpike Troubadours, Jerry Jeff Walker, Hayes Carll, Whitey Morgan and more. — DV

The Singapore Slingers; The Songs of America at Kessler Theater
The Singapore Slingers is a refreshing and unique 18-member music ensemble that takes audiences back to the pre-swing era. For its celebration of America's birthday, the group will tackle everything from Sousa marches to ragtime. — DV

Brass Knuckle Corndog Beatdown at The Libertine (Free)
How many corndogs can you eat in 15 minutes? If that number is “a fuckton,” then you could possibly win prizes at the Libertine. Whoever stuffs their face with the most corn dogs will earn a cash prize. It's free to enter, but last year's winner ate 19 dogs, just so you know what you're getting yourself into. — Chelsea Upton

Fair Park Fourth
Hosted in part by the City Of Dallas, WFAA Channel 8 and the State Fair of Texas, is Dallas' own official Fourth of July gathering. With the low, low cost of zero dollars, patrons have access to live music, water features and rides on the famed State Fair Midway — but with a much larger fireworks display. Consider it an early tease, if you will, of what is to come later this fall. — EH

Star-Spangled Spectacular at Meyerson Symphony Center
Break out the red, white and blue with something a little different for America's birthday as Dallas Winds hosts their very own “Star Spangled Spectacular” with a flag-waving show celebrating the good ol' US of A. This one comes complete with dazzling musicianship, this is said to feature the most patriotic wind band tunes in an endless parade. To America! — EH

Parking Lot Party at Double Wide
Celebrate the Fourth the American way — for free and surrounded by drinkers. Here, you can enjoy the Fair Park fireworks show from the conveniently located Double Wide parking lot, and with a cold drink in hand. You'll even get a free sparkler with your drink purchase. Performances from The Rich Girls and Dead Flowers in the venue after the fireworks are just an added bonus. — Chrissi Chetwood

Crisp: Red, White and Blue, the Misfit at That That
With a league of modest rappers from the East Coast, comes Dallas' own Blue, The Misfit as part of That That's July 4th get down. With intelligent, hard-hitting lyrics, Philadelphia-native The Bull Bey makes his second Dallas appearance along with Miami's Rapper Rich and Mr. Compliment and plenty more to bring down the house. — EH

Rocky IV at Alamo Drafthouse
It pretty much doesn't get more 'Merican than ending communism in Soviet Russia. That's exactly what Rocky IV did, and that's why Alamo Drafthouse thought this would be the most bad ass America film to play for July 4th. Who can argue? You've got Sylvester Stalone kicking ass and taking names as usual, all while adorned in an American flag. Drago doesn't stand a chance. — DV

Old Fashioned Fourth at Dallas Heritage Village
If these times are just too much for you to handle, then step back in time and head over to the Dallas Heritage Village for an “Old Fashioned Fourth” to celebrate yet another American birthday with a leisurely afternoon making crafts and taking part in the famous stick pony race all before fireworks later in the evening. — EH

Sunday
Jacco Gardner at Dada
Touring in support of his latest, Foxygen-esque release, Dutch baroque-pop sweetheart Jacco Gardner explores the subject of Hypnophobia with sets at both Good Records in the afternoon and Dada later in the evening. EZTV and Dinner open the latter. — EH

Sissy Spacek at Rubber Gloves
Sissy Spacek is far from typical, instead relying on the sounds of dying electronics and human intellect to build an intricate, often harsh, aural collage. Experience the intensity for yourself at the bare bones dive bar that is Rubber Gloves, where similarly noisy locals Orgullo Primitivo, Bukkake MMoms, Amygala and Filth open. — EH

Quaker City Night Hawks at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Quaker City Night Hawks, Chris Johnson and Hamell on Trial close out Twilite's weekend-long two-year anniversary celebration. — CG

Courtney Patton, Jason Eady at Live Oak Music Hall
Granbury's Jason Eady won over fans of the Texas country scene when his pop country-bashing “AM Country Heaven” became a top 40 hit back in 2012. Tonight in Fort Worth, he hopes to further endear himself to fans of stripped-back, classic-leaning country with the help of Courtney Patton. — CG

Mana at American Airlines Center
Well-adored by that of the Hispanic community is Mana, a four-piece Latin rock outfit famed for blending “the perfect amount of visuals, special effects and storytelling” with it's global audience is taking to the 18,000+ person capacity American Airlines Center and with anywhere from $50 to $280, you too can be one many witnesses to their renowned performance. — EH

Jaws 3D at Alamo Drafthouse
Thirty-second anniversaries of third films in a series don't often get the celebrations they deserve, but with a screening at the Alamo Draft House in Richardson, we'd say 1983's Jaws 3D, starring a young Dennis Quaid, certainly takes top honors. It's also kick-off to Shark Week, so there's also that to be afraid of. — EH

Purple Rose of Cairo at Texas Theatre
Courtesy of the Oak Cliff Cultural Center, viewers can see 1985's The Purple Rose Of Cairo for free at the Texas Theatre. Director Woody Allen highlights the unhappily married Depression-era waitress Cecilia (Mia Farrow) who earns the money while her inattentive husband, Monk (Danny Aiello), blows their meager income on getting drunk and gambling. As part of the “Class of '85” series, this transfiguration of film and reality screens for a single afternoon. — EH

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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