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Be Moved.

If you bought tickets to see a Drake show this weekend and you're just now reading this, well. then it's already too late. Because, hate to break it to you, but your tickets are fake.

Yeah, it seems some bogus promoter booked an entire fake Drake tour, scamming venues all over the country and who knows how many fans in the process.

Hopefully, you can get a refund, because there's damn near 50 better places to spend your money in North Texas this weekend — all of which, we might add, are 100 percent legit. — Cory Graves

Friday
Ryan Bingham, Lucero at South Side Ballroom
The gravel-voiced Americana singer-songwriter — and co-author of the Oscar-winning song “The Weary Kind” from 2009's Crazy Heart — returns to town for this rowdy show. Drunk and sloppy Americana outfit Lucero and its even sloppier drunk fans will be there too, making sure good times are had by all. — CG

Bo Burnham at Majestic Theatre (Sold Out)
The beginnings of Bo Burnham's musical comedy career were about as humble as it gets. Back in 2006, while still in high school, Burnham uploaded a couple of videos of himself performing a pair of self-described “pubescent comedy” songs to YouTube with the thought that it would be the easiest way to share them with his classmates and his brother, who was away at college. These days he's recording specials for Comedy Central, selling out tour after tour and authoring novels. Boy's done grown. — CG

Everything Is Terrible at Texas Theatre
For one night only, the minds behind Chicago's found-footage blog are bringing a greatest hits collection of home videos, clips of forgotten straight-to-tape films, infomercial outtakes and more of the worst moments ever committed to VHS to the Texas Theatre. Calling tonight's EIT screening unwatchable might be considered a compliment of the highest order. And that's by design: Their product has been described as an “A Clockwork Orange reel for toddlers,” which sounds terrible in the most awesome way imaginable. — CG

Ellis Hall Plays Ray Charles at Meyerson Symphony Center
The almost inimitable Ray Charles died back in 2004, but you can still see his classic songs like “Hit The Road Jack” and “Georgia On My Mind” performed by artist Ellis Hall this weekend at the Meyerson. Friday and Saturday performances start at 7:30 p.m. and the Sunday performance starts at 2:30 p.m. — Carly Seitz

North Texas Irish Festival at Fair Park
Here's what you need to know about this weekend-long celebration: There are whiskey tastings. — Trace McCaslin

James McMurtry at Granada Theater
Singer-songwriter James McMurtry, son of legendary novelist Larry McMurtry, has been called a Tex-ified Bob Dylan. Some even loftier praise comes from The Hold Steady's Craig Finn, who took it upon himself to review McMurtry's just-released Complicated Game LP. Writes Finn: “The music is always elegant here; it's never overly maudlin, never veers into Americana clichés. McMurtry is consistently honest and the songs' characters are dignified and nuanced. He never writes down to these people or judges their situations. That's why Complicated Game is another fantastic collection of songs by one of America's best songwriters.” Well put. — CG

Brave Combo (Original Lineup) at Dan's Silverleaf
This weekend, legendary Denton polka outfit Brave Combo ends its year-long 35th anniversary celebration with one last hometown performance from the group's original lineup (read: Tim Walsh, Lyle Atkinson, Carl Finch and Lisa Cameron). — CG

Maya Beiser at Dallas City Performance Hall
For the first half of her program this weekend, virtuosic cellist Maya Beiser will use her years of training to cover reimagined versions of classic rock songs. It's the second half of the show where things will get interesting, though. There, Beiser will perform a few contemporary pieces, one of which is an avant garde piece called “Three Parts Wisdom” that was authored by Wilco drummer Glenn Kotche. Fittingly, he'll be in tow, accompanying Beiser at this one. — CG

Two-Year Anniversary (Night One) at Three Links
Will Three Links' two-year anniversary bash be as dope as our three-year celebration was? I mean, they have two bands set to perform with “dead” in their names, which seems a bit ominous, so we can't say for sure. Guess you'll just have to head to Three Links to find out! — CS

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery at Inwood Theatre
Now that we're several years removed from that time when quotes from the Austin Powers franchise were being shoved so hard down our throats to no end, we can all look back and remember that it was actually pretty fucking funny. Ah, memories. — CG

Alan Jackson at Verizon Theatre
Even to call '90s country star Alan Jackson a legend is a bit of an undersell. Let us consider his accomplishments: He's won two Grammy's, 16 CMAs and 17 ACM Awards, he's sold 80 million records worldwide, and he's had 35 No. 1 songs on Billboard's country chart. Yeah, he's kind of a badass. He'll be joined on this tour by Jon Pardi and Brandy Clark, two artists who have certainly been influenced by Jackson's music themselves. — Lauren Rushing

Walker Lukens at Dada
Later this year, the soulful, NPR-approved Austin transplant Walker Luken and his fiery backing band will release its sophomore LP. Per Spin, the Jim Eno-produced effort is a cross between Zeppelin, doo-wop and Spoon. Sounds like there's a little something for everyone in there somewhere. — CG

F U T U R E at That That
Chris Lund and Kelsey Kincannon have got something pretty cool up their sleeves these days. For quite awhile now, Dallas natives Lund, also known by his Left/Right DJ moniker, and Kelsey Kincannon, who DJs as Tresspass, have been throwing one of the most detail-oriented, recurring immersive art + music experiences in town. “A lot of people in Dallas boast about cutting-edge events, but these guys are the ones actually doing it,” says DJ Colly T, who has performed at past F U T U R E events. Also performing will be Chrs Roze, Night Calisthenics and Zander, with Shadowplay providing visuals. The FUTURE is bright, indeed. — Heather Abbott

Big Smo at Billy Bob's
Country rap: Inexplicably it's still a thing. — CG

Cold War Kids at House of Blues
If it's been awhile since you've checked in on LBC indie rockers Cold War Kids, maybe it's time you give them another shot. Prior to recording 2014's Hold My Home LP, Modest Mouse drummer Joe Plummer joined the band's ranks, changing its identity pretty starkly. The now straight-ahead rock they make is pretty damn tasteful, too. Our interns are pretty stoked about it, anyway. — CG

Micky & The Motorcars at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
Fun fact: Micky and Gary Braun, who head up this Austin-based alt-country outfit, are the brothers of Willy and Cody Braun of the band Reckless Kelly. That's one talented family. — CG

Wild Tapes Grand Opening/Listening Party at The Wild Detectives
Delayed because of last weekend's shitty weather, Vice Palace's Arthur Pena will begin “curating” a selection of cassettes that will be available for purchase at The Wild Detectives starting this weekend. Says Pena via Facebook: “This curated store will feature tapes from Dallas' most rad bands to national music from this cities [sic] most progressive record labels!” Pena will begin hawking his tapes following a Friday night grand opening/listening party that'll be DJed by George Quartz. — CG

Dawn & Hawkes at Magnolia Motor Lounge
You may remember locally-tied duo Dawn & Hawkes from Season Six of The Voice. Y'know, that show that really does love its North Texans, don't it? Grab some chicken-fried bacon and settle in. — CG

Guy Forsyth at Kessler Theater
Austin-based singer-songwriter Guy Forsyth first rose to prominence after co-founding the acoustic ragtime band Asylum Street Spankers. The nine solo records he's put out since then, though, are much more raucous, partly because he often uses amps. — CG

LOOT Vintage Market at Dallas Market Hall
Weather be damned, it'll be plenty warm inside the massive confines of the Dallas Market Hall for this three-day vintage market. We imagine Friday will be the best pickens, though. — CG

Saturday
John Mellencamp at McFarlin Auditorium
Mellencamp might play a few of his 22 Top 40 hits about sucking on chili dogs at this one , sure, but expect much of the show to be rounded out by cuts from his brand new Plain Spoken LP. Fret not, though, as the T. Bone Burnett-produced record has been heaped with all kinds of critical praise the past couple months. — CG

Lisa Lampanelli at Majestic Theatre
You might recognize her from her work as one of the meanest comedians on those Comedy Central roasts, where she can be seen slinging insults that cut deeply. But did you also know that Lampanelli's actually quite generous? She totally is. — Erika Lambreton

Electric 6 at Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill
The creators of such weird, fun party jams as “Gay Bar,” “Dance Commander” and “I Buy the Drugs” come to Dallas for this one. AVAN LAVA and Denton's Bashe open. — TM

Shpongle at Granada Theater
There are allusions to hallucinogens all over Shpongle's catalog. Who else but a couple of dudes tripping balls would decide to name their band Shpongle in the first place? We digress. A good bit of DMT, or the like, is probably required to truly appreciate the band's mix of world, ambient and psychedelic trance, one would guess. — CG

Bayside, Senses Fail at Gas Monkey Live
You remember Bayside and Senses Fail from your emo-kid days, right? Well, both bands have been around since then, though they may have declined in popularity over the last few years. Anyway, if only for nostalgia's sake, you should catch them live when they play a show on Saturday at Gas Monkey. Although Bayside has less than half the amount of likes on Facebook than Senses Fail — as well as significantly lower view counts on YouTube — it's the band's 15th anniversary tour, so it will headline. Also, Man Overboard and Seaway open. — CS

The Expendables at House of Blues
Nineties ska outfit The Expendables is equally known for songs like “Bowl For Two” as it is for starring alongside the likes of Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Wesley Snipes in series of action films named after the band. — CG

Paletas y Bicicletas at Kidd Springs Park
For all you gringos, the title of this event loosely translates to popcicles and bicycles. There'll be plenty of both at this Oak Cliff-based event. There'll be piñatas, mariachis and even luchadores, too. — CG

Spillover's Alley Cat Bike Race at Main Street Garden Park
Topped by bands like Liars, King Tuff, JEFF the Brotherhood, Iceage and Viet Cong, this year's Spillover Fest seems poised to be another winner. And if you're a fast enough cyclist, you can get into Dallas' most interesting fest for free. Parade of Flesh and Transit Bicycle Company are teaming up for a bike race this weekend, where riders can win tickets to the fest and gear from Spillover performers, among other things. Proceeds — collected in the form entry fees — will be donated to the North Texas Food Bank. Find more info on that here. — CG

Chili Cook-Off at Lee Harvey's
This Texas-style chili cook-off (that means no beans, Yankees) will be judged by a handful of pseudo-celebrity local chefs, including Katherine Clapner (Dude, Sweet Chocolate), Jeana Johnson (Mot Hai Ba, Good 2 Go Taco), Victor Valdez (Becerra's Tex-Mex Tamales & Salsas), Chef DC (DC's Catering), Steven Doyle (Crave DFW) and the event's co-host, Patrick Stark (940's Restaurant). Bring chili not lest ye be judged. — CG

All Out Trinity at Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge
Just about every active, outdoor activity imaginable can be found on or around Large Marge this Saturday, including a flash mob of sorts where Dallasites will come together to try to set a Guinness World Record for the “World's Largest Yoga Chain.” There will be a free one-hour class on the Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge that's designed for yoga n00bz and experienced persons alike. You will need at least a $10 tax-deductible donation for the non-profit Trinity Commons Foundation to participate in the event. Children, however, may join in for free as long as an adult comes with them. Register here if you're interested in helping to make yoga history! — CS

Spring Break Kickoff Party in the Dallas Arts District
If you find yourself unable to drive through Downtown this Saturday, it's not because of any lingering snow-related effects. No, they're shutting things down for a good ol' fashioned block party. Be sure to take advantage of free guided tours of the DMA, Crow Collection and the Nasher, as well as the other festivities going down at nearby Klyde Warren Park. — CG

Kevin James at Verizon Theatre
For nine years, Kevin James starred in the sitcom The King of Queens, playing an overweight delivery driver married to a disproportionately hot wife. He's since gone on to star in a string of widely-panned movies, including Zookeeper and Paul Blart: Mall Cop, all of which have made a lot of folks forget how good his stand-up act is. Comedy Central did rank him No. 89 on their list of the 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians, after all. — CG

Booty Fade at The Prophet Bar
There's a couple other contenders for the title, sure, but this electro-pop heavy show is the best all-local bill of the weekend. Case in point? French 75, LEV, Ronnie Heart and Ethereal & The Queer Show each appear on this one, as well. — CG

Nintendo World Championship 25th Anniversary Party at Freaks and Geeks
In 1990, the Nintendo World Championship tour kicked off in Dallas. This weekend, video game and comic store Freaks and Geeks will celebrate the 25th anniversary of this historic event. Thor Aackerlund, the winner of the 1990 championship, will attend the event, which is a pretty big deal, not only because he won the competition but also because he pretty much fell out of the video game scene afterward. Also set to attend is multi-media personality Patrick Scott Patterson, who will challenge attendees on the Wii U's NES Remix. In addition, the shop will screen two movies: The Wizard and Ecstasy of Order: The Tetris Masters. — CS

Red Molly at Kessler Theater
Alt-bluegrass trio Red Molly doesn't shy away from big, recognizable, well-worn covers. In fact, these ladies have pretty much based their whole 10-year-long careers on doing as much, releasing five, harmony-rich albums in the process. — CG

“Sudarium” at Centraltrak (Opening Receptino)
A lot of blood, sweat and tears were put into German artist Reinhold Engberding's new “Sudarium” exhibition. Well, presumably, anyway. The canvases that these 144 portraits were done upon were used bed sheets, so there's no telling. — CG

Living Daylights at Alamo Drafthouse
James Bond 15 is the fist to feature Timothy Dalton, probably the fifth-best Bond. It does feature themes by both Aha and The Pretenders, so all is not lost. — CG

Two-Year Anniversary (Night Two) at Three Links
Will Night Two of Three Links' two-year anniversary bash be as dope as the first? Tough to say, but local punk outfits Gorehounds, Brief Lives, Sniper 66 and Shit Storm will try their damndest to make sure it is. — CS

AT&T American Cup at AT&T Stadium
A year ahead of the next Olympic games in Brazil, American gymnasts are already vying for spots on the team, and winning the American Cup can go a long way towards that goal. This is the first time the event's been held in Texas since 1998, and the first time it has ever been held in a football stadium. How's that for some fun facts? — CG

Sour Grapes Open Studio at 801 Seale St. Suite B, Dallas
The Sour Grapes Grafitti Crew will open its studio up to the public this Saturday, allowing visitors to come sift through all the art available for sale from the crew's artists, including Arturo Donjuan, who you may know from his work as a barber, and Carlos Donjuan, whose work has been featured several times in Juxtapoz magazine. Considering how cool the last open studio we went to was, you should definitely check this one out. — CS

Farewell Party at CD Source
After 22 years in business, and six months going out of business, Greenville Avenue record store CD Source is finally shutting 'er down this Saturday. Before that, they'll hold one last instore with The Bright, Dead Mockingbirds, Nicholas Altobelli, Andrew Tinker and others, while trying to get rid of the last of their inventory. Pour one out — or is that even what you do when a record store closes? Symbolically pull all the ribbon out of a cassette, maybe? — CG

Madison King, Van Darien at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Quick and dirty, here's everything you need to know about this one: Madison's playing with her full band, it's one of the last chances to catch Van Darien before she moves to Nashville and, well, it's free. Let the good times roll. — CG

Sunday
Mavis Staples at Kessler Theater
It's pretty fucking remarkable that, for a mere $35 bucks, you can catch Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Mavis Staples in as intimate a setting as The Kessler. Outstanding, really. Flat out, her family's gospel-tinged group was one of the most socially significant, if not most popular, bands of the '60s. And it's pretty mind boggling that, as of this writing, there are still a few standing room tickets left for this one. — CG

Master Pancake: Fifty Shades of Grey at Alamo Drafthouse
Noted film hecklers Master Pancake have their work cut out for them with this one. Sure, on paper, Fifty Shades of Grey seems like low-hanging fruit, but think about it; how do you top the already scripted lines like “I don't remember reading about nipple clamps in the Bible”? Yeah, those'll be tough to — wait for it — beat. Zing! — CG

Greensky Bluegrass at Granada Theater
Frenetic Detroit-based outfit Greensky Bluegrass is equal parts progressive bluegrass/string band and jam band. Expect lots of soloing and zero drums. Denton's own Boxcar Bandits will hold down the after-party next door at Sundown following the band's set. — CG

Dark Rooms, Moon Honey, Jenny Robinson at Crown and Harp
Baton Rouge's Moon Honey puts on a performance that can only be described as all-encompassing. Frontwoman Jessica Ramsey's unorthodox approach to vocals and Karen O dance moves pair nicely with the band's globally diverse set of influences. They'll be sandwiched by local acts Dark Rooms and Jenny Robinson at this one. — Jordyn Walters

Texas at Texas Theatre
This matinee is actually a live and local country music mini fest, featuring the likes of Aya, The Lonesome Doves, Aaron Burton and Ginny Mac. Ticket sales will benefit the Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation and Art of Peace Community. Yee-haw. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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