Mail Kimp?

Depending on whose research you go by, the average American walks somewhere between 5,000 and 7,000 steps per day. This falls well short of the 10,000 steps — or, roughly five miles — that most health experts recommend.

And it's getting worse. One of the biggest new trends is the Hyperwalk scooter, a sort of Segway Lite that pretty much eliminates the need for having to walk at all. Unlike Paul Blart's transportation device of choice, though, the Hyperwalk is super trendy, being snatched up in large quantities by every hip young YouTube and Vine “star.”

Yeah, we Americans love other people or devices doing work for us. We don't even like making our own plans anymore, increasingly opting to rely on lists like the one below to tell us where we're going on any given night.

I guess you could call us enablers, then. It's all good. We've been called much worse.

Sunday (8.2)
Fort Worth Podcast Movement at Omni Hotel (Fort Worth)
Featuring Sarah Koenig, Marc Maron and more.

Slayer at Gexa Energy Pavilion
Reign in blood.

Social Distortion at House of Blues
Don't drag me down.

First Sunday Flea Market at Double Wide
Find you something good.

Monday (8.3)
Sarah Koenig at Winspear Opera House
Mail kimp?

Big Screen Gaming at Alamo Drafthouse
Super Smash Bros. edition.

Tuesday (8.4)
I Am Chris Farley at Texas Theatre
Holy snikey!

Kurt Travis at Sons of Hermann Hall
The old Dance Gavin Dance frontman goes solo.

Wednesday (8.5)
Fifth Harmony at Verizon Theatre
This is how we roll.

Uncle Lucius at Capital Bar
Keep the wolves away.

Thursday (8.6)
Man or Astro-man?, Turbo Fruits at Dada
All systems go.

Tackett & Pyke: Plays of Question at Margo Jones Theatre
Art for the sake of art.

Urban Cycling Talk w/ Christna Jones at Dallas Public Library
Learn how to safely get on your bikes and ride.

Coliseum at Three Links
They are the water.

Friday (8.7)
Radioactivity (Album Release) at Double Wide
Get battered.

Brent Best (Album Release) at Dan's Silverleaf
The Slobberbone frontman goes solo.

Montage of Heck at Texas Theatre
Come as you are.

EXXXOTICA Expo Dallas Convention Center
The world's largest sexpo.

J. Charles & the Trainrobbers at Three Links
It's their last-ever show.

Raekwon and Ghostface Killah at House of Blues
Be easy.

Saturday (8.8)
Jonathan Tyler (Album Release) at Trees
With a set at Good Records beforehand.

Blank-Men, Bumping Uglies, Virgin Gun Club at City Tavern
You're no fun.

Jamaican Queens at The Foundry (Free)
Music + Chicken.

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