Ham It Up.

Would you rather be fat or stupid? According to new research, it's a choice we'll all have to make.

Says the study, which was printed in the Lancet Diabetes and Endocrinology Journal: “Underweight people had a 34 percent higher risk of developing dementia than those of a normal weight, the study found, while the very obese had a 29 percent lower risk of becoming forgetful and confused and showing other signs of senility.”

You don't have to choose right this second, but it is something to consider. Shorter term, you've got plenty of other decisions on your plate, for instance, what you're going to do the rest of the week. Fortunately for you, we've at least made that one a little easier.

Sunday (4.12)
Easy Slider Late Brunch at Double Wide
Champagne + Tang = Mama's Mosa.

Weird Science & Guardians of the Galaxy Double Feature at Granada Theater
We are Groot.

Night Drive at Three Links
Easy to lie.

Monday (4.13)
Creative Conversation: Music Edition at Dallas City Performance Hall
Featuring Mayor Mike Rawlings and Robert Wilonsky.

Bob Costas at UTA's College Park Center
Be a maverick.

DOAP at Crown and Harp
Celebrating its one-year anniversary.

Tuesday (4.14)
Mortal Kombat X Tournament at Alamo Drafthouse
Finish him.

Xetas, Pink Smoke, SuperSonic Lips at Rubber Gloves
Think pink.

Wednesday (4.15)
Smallpools at House of Blues
Over and over.

An Evening With Amanda Fucking Palmer at Granada Theater (Sold Out)
Who killed Amanda Palmer?

Mates of State at Dada
Bring it back.

Anchorman at Sundown (Free)
Keep it classy, Dallas.

Jonas Martin at Twilite Lounge (Free)
Performing solo “acoustic.”

Thursday (4.16)
Sleater-Kinney at Granada Theater (Sold Out)
Call the doctor.

Polica at The Loft
Lay your cards out.

Nick Offerman & Megan Mullally's Summer of 69: No Apostrophe Tour at Majestic Theatre
Ron + Tammy = 4Ever.

Crate Dating at Off the Record (Free)
A new spin on speed dating.

Deep Ellum Walk
Get your classy drunk on.

Mozart's Requiem in D minor at Meyerson Symphony Center
A great mass of death!

Friday (4.17)
Pokey LaFarge at The Loft
Must be something in the water.

Big Folkin' Fest 4 at The Prophet Bar
Kicking off two days of folk-ish music.

Social Science at Perot Museum
AKA adults-only night.

Stone Temple Pilots at House of Blues
Dead and bloated.

Whirr at Lola's
Heavy.

Matt Pond PA at Dada
Love to get used.

Party at the Park at Lone Star Park
Play the ponies.

Sir Michael Rocks at Three Links
He's a cool kid.

Saturday (4.18)
National Record Store Day
With in-store celebrations scheduled all over town.

OK Go at Granada Theater
Here it goes again.

Ben Kweller at Shipping & Receiving
Make it up.

Big Folkin' Fest at The Prophet Bar
Folk on.

Lady Lamb the Beekeeper at Sons of Hermann Hall
Billions of eyes.

Langhorne Slim at Small Brewpub
On the attack.

Bike Swap at Continental Avenue Bridge
Switch gears.

Boil for the Brave at The Rustic
That shit cray.

Young Fathers at Trees
White men are black men too.

Wilde/Earnest at Kitchen Dog Theater
Last chance to check out this play.

Dallas Fetish Ball at Lizard Lounge
Have a balls.

Something Wonderful at The Cotton Bowl
Featuring Tiesto, Zeds Dead, Bro Safari and more.

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