Play Some Tennis.

Generally, when a bunch of news stories all come out at once about the same suddenly trending topic, the phenomenon can be almost always attributed to it being a slow news week.

But in the case of all the stories we've recently read that involve the police releasing videos and/or photographs to the public in order to help identify creepy public masturbators, perhaps it's better to air on the side of caution.

So, this week, be on the lookout for anyone looking a bit too lovingly at a slice of Swiss cheese.

But, also, keep doing you. In the end, most of these creeps seem much more interested in dancing with themselves, so to speak, than in tangling with a stranger.

Sunday (1.12)
Charlie Robison at Kessler Theater
He'll sing you a honky tonk nursery rhyme.

No Pants Subway Ride 2014
Wanna go for a ride?

Monday (1.13)
AFI at House of Blues
Sing the sorrow.

Two-Year Anniversary Party at Sundown
Cheers!

AGFA Secret Screening at Alamo Drafthouse
Catch a free, but secret, 35-mm screening.

Tuesday (1.14)
Maxwell Hughes at The Prophet Bar
He's the Pete Best of The Lumineers.

Analog Assault at Alamo Drafthouse
Catch another VHS classic that never made the jump to DVD.

Wednesday (1.15)
Local Education at Three Links
With The Phuss, Panic Volcanic and Chase Ryan & The Grave.

Trillwave at Beauty Bar
Welcome the weekly dance party to its new home.

Thursday (1.16)
Tennis at Dada
They'll “take you to heaven.”

On the Eve at Theatre Three
It's the Home by Hovercraft musical.

Barrence Whitfield & the Savages at Three Links
Dig thy savage soul.

Fungi Girls, Shmu, Cleanup and Def Rain at The Grotto
Enjoy some easy magic.

Friday (1.17)
Stick Men at Granada Theater
Featuring members of King Crimson.

Too Close to Home
An intimate pop-up art exhibition.

Josh Ritter at Kessler Theater
So runs the world away.

Saturday (1.18)
Johnny Beauford at Three Links
Celebrating the release of his latest solo album.

Totally '80s at Granada Theater
With Le Cure and Panic.

Artopia at 333 First Avenue
An evening of culture, fashion, art, music and food.

Blackstone Rangers at Double Wide
With Hola Beach and Frauen.

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