Vamonos Lejos.

Looking for a fully operational military-grade tank with a live cannon? You're in luck! There's currently one for sale on ArmsList (think Craigslist for assault rifles and other mass killing devices) for the low, low price of $249,000.

That's a lot of dough, though, and a pretty flashy way to drop some dollars, to be sure. And there's no way you'll be able to drive that think all the way home from its current spot in Oklahoma without raising a few eyebrows/red flags. Still, it's available for any ol' average citizen to snatch up, no questions asked.

If what you're looking for is something to do tonight, well, that's a hell of a lot easier to find. And a lot cheaper, too. Just keep on scrollin'. — Cory Graves

AJ Davila y Terror Amor at Three Links
Achieving cult-like success with Davila 666 almost a decade ago, AJ Davila of the Puerto Rico-based “shit-kicking punk troupe” finds himself stateside once again, fronting a project all his own with some of his best friends. Released through Burger Records in 2014, his sophomore LP Beibi quickly sold like hotcakes. Watch as locals Sealion and Super Sonic Lips kick off the party. — Evan Henry

Mick Jenkins at Trees
Mick Jenkins is an up and coming rapper from Chicago. His breakout mixtape, The Water[s], from last year put his introspective and contemplative rhymes on a national scale and his recent EP, Wave[s], solidified him as one of the rap game's best lyricists. Catch the tide before it rises. — H. Drew Blackburn

Oral Fixation: “Push the Envelope” at Dallas City Performance Hall
A wise man once said that the leading fear for most Americans — ahead of even death — is the fear of public speaking. Goes that old bit: “To the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you'd rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” Of course, the only public speaking scenarios most folks face in their lives comes through the mundane presentations they're forced to make at school or in front of co-workers. Those moments rarely come elsewhere — like, say, in front of a crowd of strangers. And yet that's exactly what Dallas storytelling series Oral Fixation asks its contributors to do. And the results are great: The authenticity and honesty behind the tales shared by organizer Nicole Stewart and her gutsy performers are what makes Oral Fixation such an exceptional series. Tonight, the series kicks off its fifth season in its new home at the Dallas City Performance Hall, its biggest venue to date. And it'll do so with a string of tales that center around a “Push the Envelope” theme. — CG

A Nightmare on Elm Street at Alamo Drafthouse
The last film Wes Craven directed before passing away earlier this month was the very awful and upsetting fourth installment in the once-great Scream series, Scre4m. I think once a veteran director goes retro by putting the number of the film in the title, shit just goes downhill from there. But, Craven will always get a pass from me and the horror community. After all, he's created some of the best horror films of all time, not to mention one of the greatest villains, Fred Krueger, a character who's still getting sequels and reboots. A damn shame the face behind the prosthetic scars and red and greed-striped sweater, actor Robert Englund, has hung up the iconic finger-clawed glove for good. — Chase Whale

Mecum Dallas 2015 at Dallas Convention Center
For four days, the No. 1 ranked auto auction company in the world will sell off over 1,000 collector cars, vintage and antique motorcycles and road art. Start the bidding. — CG

Black Tusk at Double Wide
This Savannah-based rockers have been together since 2005 when all the band's members originally lived on the same street. Their southern origins explain why they refer to their brand of sludge as “swamp metal.” It also tells you pretty much everything you need to know about the band's sound heading into this one. Lazer/Wulf and Wrong open. — Jordyn Walters

GOP Debate Watching Party at Granada Theater
In preparation for tonight's second GOP debate, tons of people have put their own spin on the GOP Debate Drinking Game, most of which involve taking a drink anytime Donald J. Trump says something outrageously stupid. Don't hesitate to call an Uber should you decide to play along at the Granada's watching party tonight. — CG

Cover photo by Karlo X. Ramos. To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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