Give Your Twerk Muscle One Last Workout at Zubar.

OK, seriously: All these royal baby GIFs popping up across the Internet are out of control, you guys. Actually, we take that back. All of this royal baby coverage period is beyond control.

Plus, we're way more interested in the newborn baby Asian elephant at the Fort Worth Zoo. Where was the live streaming for that one, NBC?

I kid, of course. Because ewwwwwwww.

Anyway, that cute little elephant's still looking for a name, and the zoo has asked for help in that regard. Head over to their Facebook page to offer up your suggestion. Then, raise a glass tonight to little Dumbo or Maggie or Belle or whatever the pint-sized pachyderm eventually winds up being called.

KEN mode at Rubber Gloves
Winnipeg noise/hardcore act KEN mode continues its tour in support of March's Entrench at this show tonight. Beyond that, this show is probably your best chance to see some classically trained musicians — that's right the members of KEN mode met at music conservatory — play some loud, loud, punk music in North Texas tonight. — Stephen Young

Vinyl Preservation Society at The Crown & Harp [Upstairs]
The Vinyl Presentation Society DFW's second meeting at The Crown & Harp is happening tonight. This week's theme is “Hot, Hot, Hot,” although organizers are leaving it up to you to determine the exactly what that means and what vinyl you bring as a result. — Jessica Petrocchi

Three Two Ones and Oddlot at The Crown & Harp [Downstairs]
California new wave/power-pop fusion act Three Two Ones gets noisy downstairs at The Crown & Harp tonight. Be sure to head down after you hit the Vinyl Preservation Society and check them out. Local rockers Oddlot open. — SY

Hookers Made Out of Cocaine at Three Links
If this show was actually headlined by hookers made out of cocaine, well, that would be more than a little weird. What kind of show would that be, anyway? Would the band be doing lines off of themselves? And, if so, would they even have functional appendages by the night's end? We'll never know because fortunately Hookers Made of Cocaine are, as far as we know, a standard three-piece human rock band. You might want to head over to Three Links tonight just in case, though. — SY

CONCACAF Gold Cup Semifinals at Cowboys Stadium
Jerry World plays host to the semifinals of North and Central America's biennial soccer championships tonight. The opener of this doubleheader features the United States, winners of nine straight overall, and Honduras, fresh off a quarterfinal victory over Costa Rica. The two countries have split their two previous games — both during World Cup qualifying matches — with each team winning on home soil. Mexico, which has been struggling to find an attacking rhythm of late, attempts to regain their groove in the nightcap against Panama, who's in the semis on the strength of a 6-1 victory over Cuba this past Saturday. — SY

Greg Schroeder at Twilite Lounge
Local alt-country troubadour Gary Schroeder hits newish Deep Ellum retro dive Twilite Lounge for a free show tonight. If you haven't had a chance to check out the bar brainchild of Danny Balis and Jess Barr just yet, you should take this opportunity. It's one of the most promising bars in Deep Ellum. — SY

Trillwave's “Last Twerk” at Zubar
Celebrate Trillwave's last Wednesday night dance party at Zubar before the longtime Lower Greenville staple shuts its doors. DJs A1, Nasty Kerrigan (read: DJ Redeye) and Trailer Swift will be providing the tunes. See if you can twerk better than Miley at this one. We dare you. — JP

Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights at the Double Wide [Secret Show]
Well, this is cool: We just got word that Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights will be taking to the Double Wide's tiny stage tonight to perform a free, surprise set. Why are they doing this? We're not entirely sure. Maybe the band's looking to try out some of that new material they've been penning since the release of 2010's Pardon Me? Or maybe the band just wanted a warm-up gig before heading out to Alpine's Viva Big Bend Festival tomorrow. Either way: We locals once again reap the benefits here. — Pete Freedman

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