Admire Leon Russell's Mighty Beard.

Let's just state the obvious here: Kids are dummies, plain and simple.

How else could one possibly explain the recent rash of tweens crushing up and snorting Smarties candies?

Putting aside the fact that inhaling nearly pure sugar up one's nasal cavity does literally nothing in the way of providing any sort of “rush” or “high,” the bigger mystery at play is why these kids aren't simply opting for snorting neon lines of Pixie Stix powder which, from our experience, comes pre-crushed?

And yet, somehow, our biggest takeaway from this bit of news is a resounding relief that we're finally all growns up.

I mean, it takes more than a Green #3 nose bleed to entertain us.

Not much more, but still.

Leon Russell and Hot Tuna at House of Blues
These days, Russell is equally lauded for his long list of legendary collaborators — Elton John, Aretha Franklin, Willie Nelson, JJ Cale, Eric Clapton, Herb Alpert and Bob Dylan have each previously worked with the eclectic pianist, just to name a few — as he is for his flowing, white, Gandalf-like beard. Tonight, he'll spin yarns from his youth between tunes. And Hot Tuna will open the night with a three-piece, acoustic-style performance. — Cory Graves

Local Education at Three Links
The second installment of King Camel's new local music series will feature performances from Dallas bands Mercury Rocket and Dead Beat Poetry, plus Fort Worth “bummer rock” specialists FOGG. For more insight on this series, head here. — CG

Vulgar Fashion, Lechuguillas and The Creature at Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios
The bands on this bill ain't exactly fans of simple descriptors. To wit: Ohio's The Creature refers to itself as “Cincinnati death rock/goth punk,” Austin's Lechuguillas prefers “heavy noise rock fucks” and Denton's own Vulgar Fashion selects “golden shower-flavored ice cream dance party.” OK, then. Just know this: It's a rare bill when Vulgar Fashion is arguably the most straightforward act found on a bill. It's a rarer one when you can catch them for just a buck. — Pete Freedman

Elvis Wednesdays at El Ranchito
For going on 11 years now, it's been a hump day tradition at this Oak Cliff eatery to host Elvis impersonators during The King's birth and death months (January and August). James Wages is tonight's featured performer. And, as always, the restaurantl be serving up the best — or, at the very least, the most underrated — margaritas in town. Reservations are very much recommended. — CG

Trillwave at Beauty Bar
The guests for this week's edition of the recently relocated weekly dance party include DJs Nasty Kerrigan (aka DJ RedEye), Quality Control (aka Trillwave resident Dubble A plus Willgood) and, as always, Trailer Swift. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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