Park It.

Earlier this week, a man in Florida attempted to pay his bar tab with a rock. According to reports, it wasn't a good rock — not even by rock standards.

And when that didn't work, he left the bar and returned with a briefcase he said contained “either a bomb or a baby.” Don't worry, it was neither; now, the dude's currently sitting in jail facing a number of charges.

It probably goes without saying at the point, but, um, rocks don't work in Texas bars, either. You might want to hit the ATM — with your debit card, not a rock — because there's lots going on, and cash is king. — Cory Graves

Trailer Park Boys at Majestic Theatre
Although Trailer Park Boys ended its first run as a TV series on Showcase in 2008, the cast of the show has not ended its charades. It's released a few movies since then, and finally returned to television last year when Netflix announced it would take the show on for Seasons 8 and 9. According to Metro News Canada, the actors of the show — Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, Robb Wells and Pat Roach — plan to shoot 10th and 11th seasons as well. Also, be sure to get tickets from Ticket Master, because tickets from there range from about $45-66 (including fees), while tickets from the this fake Majestic Theaters' website are available for $94 or $158 each — and they try to force you to buy at least two. So, yeah. You're welcome. — Carly Seitz

Jonathan Richman at Rubber Gloves
In the last 40 years, Richman's evolved from teenage frontman of punk rock forbearers The Modern Lovers to the equally quirky acoustic guitar-toting troubadour best remembered for narrating There's Something About Mary. To hear Richman and longtime drummer Tommy Larkin tell it, though, they've never stopped evolving. “Me and Tommy play totally different than we played two years ago,” Richman once wrote in an old bio. “We already play a different style than we played on that live DVD, and the way we played then was totally different from the way we played three years before that. I still feel like we're just starting out, and I still learn new stuff every night.” — CG

You've Got Mail at Alamo Drafthouse
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan's 1998 Sleepless in Seattle follow-up, You've Got Mail, tells the story of two people who despise each other in the business world, but fall in love via the miracle of dial-up internet. Check out the cable TV staple on the big screen for a change. —Lauren Rushing

Kinky Boots at Music Hall at Fair Park
Kinky Boots is a Broadway musical about the owner of a struggling conservative men's shoe store. In order to kickstart his business, he starts making custom shoes for drag queens. Sounds cool right? Better yet, it boasts a score composed by Cyndi Lauper and a book written by Harvey Fierstein, who knows a thing or two about drag queens; the guy won a Tony for his portrayal of Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. This touring version runs here in town through March 8. — CG

The Spy Who Loved Me at The Magnolia
Reprising his role as James Bond for the 10th film in the franchise, Roger Moore faces off against beautiful KGB agent Anya Amasova, “megalomaniac industrialist” Karl Stromberg and the late, great Richard Kiel, who makes his first appearance as metal-mouthed killer Jaws. — LR

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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