Find The White Women.

It's never a good idea to consume alcohol and get behind the wheel.

Plus, options like Uber and Lyft are just way too cheap to ever put your life — or, perhaps more important, the lives of other innocent people — at risk. Period.

In fact, the only thing dumber than driving drunk is doing so while wearing a shirt that says “DRUNK AS SHIT” in big block letters as one Oregon man found out last weekend.

Learn from his mistakes, though. And just make sure that, if your car has a standard transmission, your designated driver at least knows how to drive a stick.

Rex Manning Day Party at Sundown
It's Rex Manning Day? Say no more, mon amour. A rooftop screening of Empire Records is most certainly in order. And, as the screen fades to black on the eponymous store's rooftop dance party, it should be just about time to head downstairs and start a dance party of your own. There, DJs Blake Ward and the Observer's Gavin Cleaver will be spinning '90s dance classics until close. — Cory Graves

Captain America and Santo vs. Spider-Man at Alamo Drafthouse
The characters in this completely unauthorized 1973 Turkish language comic book flick bear little resemblance to their Marvel counterparts. The biggest departure, of course, is the fact that Spider-Man is a bad guy with none of the same powers shared by the U.S. version. That is to say, no, he's not your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Oh, and his weapons include switchblades and guinea pigs. It's been called both the best and worst comic book film of all time, so this could go either way tonight. — CG

Nina Totenberg at UTA's Texas Hall
Nina Totenberg has been a legal affairs correspondent at NPR since 1975, and she'll share her expertise at the University of Texas at Arlington tonight as part of the Maverick Speaker Series. In particular, she'll be discussing The Supreme Court and its sometimes frightening impact on our day-to-day lives. — Porschia Paxton

Chromeo at House of Blues
Earlier this year, Canadian electro-funk duo Chromeo announced its upcoming album, White Women, via a post on Craistlist's “missed connections” section. But, while the follow-up to 2010's Business Casual won't officially come out until next month, the title alone all but guarantees that it'll be filled with the duo's blend of serious musical chops and trademark tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. The album's kickoff single, which features vocals from Toro y Moi, all but confirms that suspicion. You can check that one out here. — CG

Patrick Park at Three Links
Park's “Life as a Song” was the very last song heard in the very last episode of The O.C.. Beyond than that, though, the five LPs and six EPs this Colorado-based singer-songwriter released since 2000 have gone largely unnoticed. Kind of a shame, too: Outlets including CMJ have called Park's most recent release the best album of his career. Former Polyphonic Spree member and current Austin resident Sweet Lee Morrow opens. — CG

Stomp at Bass Performance Hall
This year marks the 20th anniversary since the first American cast of Stomp started touring the country and making music with their collection of janitorial equipment and random garbage. The UK cast, though, is coming up on its 25th anniversary. But that's neither here nor there. This is: The production's current Fort Worth run will be in town through the 13th. — CG

Jonah Keri at Twilite Lounge
For the past few months, the Dallas-based sports media start-up Paranoid Fan has quietly been hosting one of the more interesting recurring events in town — and, truly, a must-see for any of the aspiring writers and the nerdiest of sports fans among us. It goes like this: For $25, Paranoid Fan affords folks the chance to listen to an interview with and later meet some of the better up-and-coming sports writers out there. Also? There's an open bar and there's free food. But, more important, it's a great way to learn the national perspectives on the North Texas sports world and a fine way to gain insight into the writing process. A great example: At last month's meetup, Grantland scribe Bryan Curtis revealed to the crowd that he found the city of Arlington endlessly fascinating; just yesterday, his finished effort went public. Tonight, Curtis' Grantland colleague Jonah Keri is the featured guest. Notably, he's the first speaker to be making a return appearance at this series. Which means at least this much: The guests dig it. You should, too. Highly recommended. — Pete Freedman

We From Dallas Premiere at the Angelika Theater
There are many worthwhile films being screened around town as part of the Dallas International Film Festival this week, but perhaps none of them are as interesting as this one, which promises to tell the tale of Dallas' hip-hop history while making a case for the city's importance in the genre's rise. We've long been praising the strength of Dallas' modern-day hip-hop scene, but this film should serve as a reminder of the long, winding road that brought us all to this point. — PF

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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