Get Back On The Chain Gang.

According to a trailer released yesterday, the third installment in the Human Centipede trilogy is, in fact, not a joke. It will hit theaters on May 22, the day we presume the world also ends.

Since we don't have much time left, we might as well enjoy what little we've still got. So let's make the most of it, starting with tonight.

Here's a few ideas. — Cory Graves

The Jesus and Mary Chain at The Bomb Factory
Formed in 1983, Scottish alt-rock pioneers The Jesus and Mary Chain are back in North Texas for the first time in three years. Barring any visa issues, the band will hit The Bomb Factory tonight in celebration of the 30th anniversary of its groundbreaking debut album, Psychocandy. For fans of the Velvet Underground and My Bloody Valentine, you have to see classics The Jesus and Mary Chain for one hell of a time. — Lauren Rushing

Mystic Braves, The Blank Tapes, L.A. Witch at Sons of Hermann Hall
Since 2011, the Los Angeles-based Mystic Braves has brought a new sound to the lo-fi indie table. The band's latest album, last year's Desert Island, is filled with a trippy sound that leads listeners on a psychedelic excursion. These guys know how to play but definitely know how to party, too, so get ready to get down and groove . — LR

Lee Ann Womack at Kessler Theater
For the second straight night, Texas native Lee Ann Womack plays the intimate Kessler Theater. The old fashioned country singer is a huge get for the venue, to be sure, especially considering how massive her 2000 crossover hit “I Hope You Dance” was. And she's still got it; her latest album, last year's The Way I'm Livin' has been compared to “Dolly Parton's finest” by critics. — LR

AT&T Patio Sessions at Sammons Park (Free)
Headlining this week's Patio Session is Austin's Quentin Moore, whose jazz/blues/funk/soul sound will give you the feels, for sure. But it won't all be bad; his songs deal with heartbreak, yes, but also about the more positive things in life like the feeling of fulfillment. You can see him for free this Thursday at Sammons Park, so grab a blanket for the grass and have a fun Thursday night without breaking the bank! Chris Watson Band opens. — Carly Seitz

Chris “Kid” Reid at Hyena's (Fort Wort)
In the early '90s, there was really nobody you'd rather have crash your pad all Cat in the Hat-style and throw a dance-centric rager while your parents were away than Kid 'n Play. Christopher “Kid” Reid's best Funky Charleston days are perhaps behind him — and his hair's a fraction of its former height these days — but far as we can tell from his frequent appearances on 1310-AM The Ticket, he's still maintained his sense of humor. — CG

Billy Joe Shaver at Vagabond
The self-professed “wacko from Waco” never became the big name that his peers like Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson or Kris Kristofferson did, but the songs he penned for them and others became some of the biggest standards in '70s country music. The largely Shaver written album Honky Tonk Heroes helped carve out the outlaw image Waylon Jennings will forever be known for. This is about the most intimate setting you'll ever catch Shaver in these days, which is why tickets to this one are $50. Still, totally worth it. — CG

O-Town at Trees
If it weren't for ABC and MTV making one of the first hit reality shows Making The Band, we wouldn't have a band like O-Town to fangirl over in our younger days. Despite the boy band's mild success following the show, the band broke up in 2004, in part to escape an unfair record contract, and also to pursue individual work. After a decade apart, Trevor, Jacob, Erik and Dan (sorry no Ashley, boo) are reuniting as friends with a renewed passion for making music together again. — LR

Barefoot at the Belmont at the Belmont Hotel (Sold Out)
Like every week's edition of this KXT-presented summer series, tonight's Knox Hamilton and Daniel Markham gig has been sold out well in advance. Next week's Israel Nash performance is already sold out, too, for that matter. That said, you might want to scoop up tickets to May 28's Kaleo show as soon as they become available next Wednesday morning. — CG

Spyche at AllGood Cafe
You may recognize Spyche as the bassist of Dallas-based Cramps tribute The Gorehounds. Tonight she'll make slightly more dinner-friendly music for the crowd at AllGood. Mike Daane will be there, too, playing a rare, solo bass set. — LR

The '80s Movie Anthem Sing-Along at Alamo Drafthouse
Have you lost that loving feeling? The '80s was such a hotbed for iconic soundtrack tunes that filmmakers were hard-pressed to make a movie that didn't include at least one montage sequence. Have the time of your live tonight while reliving the decade's greatest hits. — CG

Coach Joe Memorial Benefit Concert at Hat Tricks
Joe Avezzano coached the Dallas Cowboys special teams unit for a few years, and helped lead the team to win three Super Bowls. On the side, he also tinkered around with country music and owned this Lewisville venue. Although not explicitly stated on Hat Trick's event page for the concert to celebrate his life and raise money for The Asante Childrens Choir that's happening this Thursday, we assume the artists will be country musicians. — CS

Prophets of Addiction at Three Links
There's an easy way to sum up the Prophets of Addiction in just three words: Rock, Glam, Punk. Check out these rock n' roll, metal filled performers if you remember what rebellion and kick ass time felt like. Plissken and DJ Joey Scandalous will be there, too. — LR

Today is the Day, Lazer/Wulf at Double Wide
Nashville noisecore band, and Spillover vets Today is the Day has shared the stage with the likes of Motorhead, Helmet and the Melvins in its two decades together. Tonight they'll share the stage with Lazer/Wulf, The House Harkonnen and Tolar. So, yeah, it's going to be one hell of a night. — LR

El Centro College Hip-Hop Festival (Free)
El Centro's “Hip Hop Studies 101” class (Humanities 2319) is throwing a hip-hop festival today, and it's totally an all-day thing. College kids have some weird ass schedules, though, so we guess it's not really that strange. Anyway, it has to be so long in order to fit in all the planned festivities. To wit, there will be performances from Dustin Cavazos, Alsace Carcione, Terrance Spectacle, Shoose McGee and Joey The Bull, as well as break dancing, graffiti and DJ demonstrations, a fashion show, hip-hop karaoke, hip-hop trivia, screenings of hip-hop films and panel discussions. And even though it's at a college, this one is still open to the public, even the non-college-aged members. — CS

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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