Hide Bodies With A Place To Bury Strangers At The Loft.

Last Saturday night, former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson chased down Justin Bieber after the Biebs sped past him inside their gated California community. The best part? Johnson boxed in Bieber's Ferrari with his Prius.

Go figure.

Is it just us, or does it seem like the news is just a really bizarre cosmic Mad Libs book sometimes?

Anyway, here's a list of [plural noun] that you can [verb] in [nickname for Dallas] tonight:

A Place to Bury Strangers at The Loft
The New York noisemakers in A Place to Bury Strangers bring their wall of sound to The Loft as part of a bill that includes locals Zhora and The Angelus. They've been called “The most ear-shatteringly loud garage/shoegaze band you'll ever hear,” so expect them to rattle the walls of the most intimate venue inside the Gilley's Complex.

Cesar Millan at Winspear Opera House
Tsst, tsst! Check out the Dog Whisperer himself, doing whatever it is he does during his live appearances. Are his techniques some magical brand of voodoo/bullshit, or is it possible that they are, in fact, the real deal? Trying to figure that out is just one compelling reason to head to the Winspear tonight.

Anthony Jeselnik at House of Blues
Comedy Central regular Anthony Jeselnik performs some of the darkest material you'll hear from any comedian currently on the circuit. His arrogant, seemingly sociopathic stage presence is certainly off-putting, but his willingness to push the envelope often finds laughs where no one else possibly could. Check your sensibilities at the door and get ready to cringe if you're heading out to the House of Blues tonight.

Tommy Davidson at the Addison Improv
In Living Color veteran Tommy Davidson begins a four-day run at the Addison Improv tonight. If you prefer your stand-up a little easier to stomach than what's being thrown down over at the House of Blues, Davidson is your guy.

Spring Market in the Design District
Head over to the Design District for the spring installment of their outdoor market, which typically features local beer, handmade crafts, food trucks and live music.

Chris Johnson of Telegraph Canyon at the AT&T Performing Arts Center
Telegraph Canyon frontman Chris Johnson heads this installment of AT&T Performing Arts Center's seasonal Thursday series at Sammons Park. Free admission, food trucks galore and, comparatively, mild weather all sound like good reasons to bring the family out to this one.
Update: Johnson has fallen ill, so Doug Burr will be performing in his stead.

Bazaar of the Bizarre! at the Crown and Harp
The Lower Greenville bar hosts a celebration of all things unique and weird. Highlights of the evening include a set by DJ Trigger Mortis, an appearance by Assassination City Roller Derby and a drag show. There's an art show upstairs too, featuring the “slightly insane masterpieces” of dark toon artist Cody Phillips.

Brain Gang at Dada
Brain Gang's experimental beats headline a hip-hop bill at Dada also featuring Amber London and Dallas rapper Jaeson Green.

Larry g(EE) at Sundown
Genre-jumping singer-songwriter Larry g(EE) is the star of this month's free Chevy Music Showcase.

Holy Ghost Tent Revival at The Live Oak
In addition to a sweet name, North Carolina sextet Holy Ghost Tent Revival features playful, whimsical lyrics and exceptional musicianship — factors which account for much of the group's outstanding live reputation. Expect a rollicking good time tonight out in The Fort.

Vintage Trouble at The Prophet Bar
Foursome Vintage Trouble features a potent mix of rock, blues, classic soul and some really sweet vintage costumes. The band's energetic live shows have been described as “A down-home revival with an uptown feel.” So expect to dance and to, well, have a blast.

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