Do What U Want.

You don't live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You also don't own a time machine.

Therefore, we can logically deduce that it's impossible for you to go back and watch the new Planet of the Apes movie in a theater full of actual apes.

Too bad.

Guess you'll have to settle for one of these things. It could be worse. — Cory Graves

Lady Gaga at American Airlines Center
If you're into the Lady Gaga scene — and, really, who isn't? — this is your Christmas. And Gaga's bringing gifts: The stage setup she's been traveling with as part of her current “ArtRave: The ArtPop Ball” tour is pretty bonkers, complete with some insane machinery and, of course, a catwalk. After a broken hip caused Mother Monster to cancel last year's tour, you can also bet she'll try to more than make up for lost time tonight. — Ashley Gongora

QuakeCon 2014 at Hilton Anatole
Still need something to help boost your sense of patriotism in the wake of how the World Cup turned out for Team USA? You should probably bet on something that Americans have a reputation at being good at — like, say, playing video games. Today through Sunday morning, you can watch thousands of gamers from around the world mutter obscenities under their breath as they show off just how good they are at killing each other in video games. What's more: Attendees at this year's QuakeCon will get an exclusive look at Doom 4. Oh, and it's free attend. The schedule for all three days can be found here. — Chris Escarfullery

Catalogue, Tame… Tame and Quiet, DJ Keith P at City Tavern
Parlez vous danse? In other words: Do you get down to guitar-driven French post-punk? Marseille trio Catalogue is in Texas for a handful of dates this week, but none more closer than tonight's Downtown Dallas-hosted affair. Joining the band on its second North Texas show in as many nights will be Tame… Tame and Quiet and Wardance's DJ Keith P. A word of warning: The band never sets the BPM on its drum machine to less than 160, so don't expect to just stand in place at this one. — CG

Trapt at Trees
Sure, Trapt hasn't had a hit single since 2003's “Headstrong.” But the band hasn't stopped touring or releasing albums. Quite the opposite: Somehow, the band's fans are still clamoring for more. In fact, they just forked over $50,000 to help Trapt record its next effort. I guess it takes all kinds, huh? The Veer Union, Adakain and Cold Ash open this one. — AG

10,000 Maniacs at Kessler Theater
Though Natalie Merchant headed for greener grass two whole decades ago, the band that launched her career never stopped doing its thing. Hell, they're even said to be working on a new album. So who are the folks that have kept going to all these Merchant-less shows over the years? We're not sure. But it's probably a lot of the same people that have kept The New Bohemians afloat. — CG

Whitey: United States of America V. James J. Bulger at the Texas Theatre
Before being captured, James “Whitey” Bulger was a bad motherfucker. There's not one kind of crime you can think of that this man wasn't (allegedly) involved in. Hell, Martin Scorsese based Jack Nicholson's character off him for The Departed. Find out just how batshit crazy this mean really was with this captivating documentary. Tonight only. — Chase Whale

Cool Cats in a Blender at Kettle Art
Its admittedly awkward name aside, tonight's Kettle Art event boils down to a mixer — y'know, the type of thing you probably haven't had to endure since the mandatory get-to-know-everyone-in-the-dorms party you had to attend back when you started college. Bring your portfolios to this one, though. You could come away with a collaborator or two with which to embark on future art projects. Or just take it as an opportunity to chill out and check out everybody else's portfolios. In any case, brushing up on your small talk shouldn't be your only takeaway from this one. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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