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Recently, a teen was kicked in the head by a train conductor while attempting to take a selfie from what he previously thought to be a “safe distance” from the track.

Obviously, it was not a safe distance.

In the conductor's defense, selfies are rarely an intriguing or creative form of self-expression — especially not at the risk of one's own safety. We can only hope that kicking selfie takers becomes the next “fire in the hole” or “smack cam”. Granted, the name still needs a little work.

And with so many awesome things going on tonight, there's sure to be plenty of unsuspecting selfie-taking targets to prey on.

Neil Young at Meyerson Symphony Center
We have a hard time believing Neil Young is hard-up for cash these days, but how else could you explain the fact that the double Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee recently turned to Kickstarter to fund his new high-end Pono music player or that tickets to this solo acoustic performance will cost up to $300? Oh yeah, because he's a living legend and he can totally get away with it. — Cory Graves

Red Bull Sound Select Presents: Health at Three Links
Tonight, Dallas will see its tenth — tenth! — Red Bull Sound Select showcase go down at Three Links as Parade of Flesh curates its second-ever offering in the series, following up January's Fucked Up-headlined affair at Dada. Headlining this one will be L.A. noise punks Health, plus locals Cutter and Blackstone Rangers. And like all shows in the series, you'll have to RSVP here for your $3 tickets to the show. Then, since you're already in the RSVPing mood, you might as well head here and RSVP for $3 passes to the May showcase, which we here at CT are curating. That one goes down on Thursday, May 22, also at Three Links. — Pete Freedman

Patterns of Passion at Kettle Art
Tonight marks the opening reception for the Deep Ellum gallery's new month-long, three-woman exhibition. For the show, Kettle regulars Corey Godfrey, Aralyn McGregor and Judith Lea Perkins have created new works that “explore the rhythms, colors and textures of emotion.” Artist reception starts at 7 p.m. — CG

AT&T Patio Sessions at Sammons Park
This week's edition of the free, family-friendly, outdoor music series will feature a performance from Holt & Stockslager, Sorta alum Chris Holt and current King Bucks ivory tinkler Chad Stockslager's Simon & Garfunkel cover outfit. As always, the music starts at 5:30 and it's BYOB. — CG

Uncle Lucius at Kessler Theater
It's hard enough for most bands to work through all their creative differences — at least enough so to record a few albums. Austin-based Southern Rockers Uncle Lucius somehow manage the feat with five songwriters in the band. More power to 'em, we say. Wood & Wire opens. — CG

Anamanaguchi at UT Dallas
Just ahead of finals season, UT Dallas' own Radio UTD is throwing one last spring bash headlined by happy-go-lucky New York chiptune punks Anamanaguchi. This is one is free and open to all UTD students and staff and, barring rain, will be held in the campus quad area more commonly known as The Plinth. Should the rains come, organizers say they'll move the event to the Arts Barn. And don't worry if you're not a student; we hear the pizza-loving headliners will be accepting bribes of the pepperoni-topped variety, so long as you don't show up with the wrong brand. — CG

Jerrod Carmichael at Addison Improv
For too long now, nice guy comedian Jerrod Carmichael has lurked under the radar, serving as a writer on Cartoon Network's Loiter Squad and as an opener on Daniel Tosh's most recent national tour. But Carmichael, whose current tour is the comedian's first as a headliner, is about to break out in a big way. To wit: Carmichael's set to co-star alongside Seth Rogan and Zac Efron in next month's Neighbors, and, in the fall, he'll star in an NBC sitcom partially based on his own life. — CG

Kaytranada at Trees
With millions of plays on his Soundcloud and YouTube pages, the Montreal-by-way-of-Haiti producer Kaytranada is currently the most in-demand DJ in Canada. At just 21 years old, he's already gone through multiple personas — R.I.P. Kaytradamus — and DJed all over the world. And though it was arguably a 2012 remix of Janet Jackson's “If” that initially thrust the producer into the national limelight, he's recently cited Erykah Badu as his influence for incorporating more neo-soul into his sets of late, and called Robert Glasper and Norah Jones' “Let it Ride” as his favorite track of 2014. Not coincidentally, he's remixed both of those locally-tied artists as well. Picnictyme, Willgood, B2B and DJ S.O.U.L.JAH open. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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