Tune In To Radiolab.

In a news story that's seriously straight up lifted from an episode of Seinfeld, a Texas man was arrested last week for failing to return an overdue library book after three years.

So, let it be known: Weird things don't just happen to television characters. They can happen to you, too.

With that in mind, maybe you should avoid hanging out in the obvious places tonight — like, say, your house. Fear not, scofflaws: There are plenty of places where you can hide out tonight, if you catch our drift.

Radiolab Live at Verizon Theatre
Following in the footsteps of fellow NPR programs Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me, A Way With Words, and This American Life — each of which has already visited town this year — Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich are bringing their Radiolab program live to Grand Prairie tonight. According to the show's website, this affair will find the affable hosts focusing on demises of both the mercifully quick and painfully slow sort — all through their usual storytelling-meets-science filter. — Cory Graves

SuicideGirls: Blackheart Burlesque Tour at House of Blues
Many of the tattooed, “alternative” models who pose for the SuicideGirls website and/or books like to think of the company as feminist-friendly, and otherwise view its focus on non-traditional subjects empowering. The company's owner, Sean Suhl, has said on record before, though, that he started the site “just to see hot punk rock girls naked.” The trick here, then, is figuring out where attending tonight's burlesque performance stops being a showing of support for a positive subculture and talented performers, and starts being a form of financially supporting a misogynistic and ultimately pretty harmful company? — CG

Shawn Colvin and Mary Chapin Carpenter at Majestic Theatre
When Mike Schwedler took over booking duties at the historic Majestic Theatre back in May, he went on record saying his biggest goal for the place was to return it to some semblance of musical relevance. Has he succeeded thus far? Perhaps, to a degree. Has he made the place any more hip, though, in the process? The fact that tonight's performers' most successful albums came in 1992 and 1997 may tell you everything you need to know in that regard. — CG

Being As An Ocean at Sons of Hermann Hall
As raucous as the dying animal-like squeals emitted by most contemporary hardcore frontmen sound, they're all the more jarring when accompanied by somewhat more quiet, lyrical guitar work. California outfit Being As An Ocean refers to this pairing as “melodic hardcore,” which is apparently a subgenre with a very specific set of criteria. — CG

Quaker City Night Hawks at Lola's (Free)
There might not be such a thing as a free lunch, but fortunately free rock shows do still happen. Most times, though, they don't feature bands as kickass as Quaker City. Even better? This one's also got a performance by Secret Ghost Champion, a DJ set from Son of Stan, and live art by Sarah Ayala and Ronnie Heart. — CG

To find out what else is going on today, this week and beyond, check out our events page.

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