A Look at What If and The Rest of This Week's New and Specialty Film Releases.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Director: Jonathan Liebesman.
Writers: Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec, Evan Daugherty (screenplay); Peter Laird, Kevin Eastman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters).
Cast: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner.
Where it's playing: Everywhere.

Dumb is a word you use as a kid, but it's the best way to describe the Michael Bay-produced version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The original TMNT was so much fun to watch when we were young, and it's a movie one can get nostalgic on as an adult. Yeah, it's silly, but it has its charm. Unfortunately, this Turtles flick has no charm and will be forgotten in a few year's time. Check our full review here.

Into the Storm.
Director: Steven Quale.
Writer: John Swetnam.
Cast: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh.
Where it's playing: Everywhere.

I missed the press screening of Into the Storm this week, but I'm dying to see it. Any movie that looks like Twister with an attitude will get a pass from me, no matter how stupid it looks. Twister is great. I will fight you if you disagree.

The Hundred-Foot Journey.
Director: Lasse Hallstrom.
Writers: Steven Knight (screenplay), Richard C. Morais (book).
Cast: Helen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal.
Where it's playing: Everywhere.

What's not to love about Dame Hellen Mirren? She starred in a borderline porn once (with Malcolm McDowell!) and just keeps on trucking flawlessly in Hollywood. Written by Steven Knight (Lock), The Hundred-Foot Journey stars Mirren as Madame Mallory, French restaurant owner who takes a chance on a young chef to become the best in a local restaurant war. Oprah and Spielberg produced it, too. So there's that.

What If.
Director: Michael Dowse.
Writers: Elan Mastai (screenplay); T.J. Dawe, Michael Rinaldi (play).
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan, Megan Park.
Where it's playing: Cinemark West Plano.

What if Harry Potter starred in a rom-com with the always-lovable Zoe Kazan (Revolutionary Road) and you could see it this weekend? Movie magic is what. Radcliffe (Harry Potter, duh) stars in this all-too familiar story as Wallace, a hopeless romantic that falls for a girl who's already got a man. Will they fall deeply in love with each other in the third act as Jack Johnson plays overhead? This, dear reader, you will have to find out on your own.

Step Up All In.
Director: Trish Sie.
Writer: John Swetnam (screenplay); Duane Adler (characters).
Cast: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Adam G. Sevani.
Where it's playing: Everywhere.

The fifth installment in the Step Up series snuck into this weekend's releases without much publicity, so it's probably safe to say the studio behind it (Summit Entertainment) doesn't want many people to see it. Too bad: The first three Step Up films proved the franchise a massive hit until it started to lose steam with the fourth installment, Step Up Revolutions. All good things come to an end, I suppose.

Mercenaries.
Director: Christopher Ray.
Writer: Edward DeRuiter.
Cast: Zoe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Brigitte Nielsen, Vivica A. Fox, Cynthia Rothrock.
Where it's playing: Inwood Theatre.

Not sure how Mercenaries didn't pop up on my radar before now. I mean, look at this kickass cast: Zoe Bell (Death Proof and Uma Thurman's stunt double in the Kill Bill series), Vivica A. Fox (also in Kill Bill), Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines), Brigitte Nielsen (Cobra, Rocky IV and Flavor Flav's ex-girlfriend) and Cynthia Rothrock (Tiger Claws). No synopsis needed. Sign me up.

Armageddon.
Director: Michael Bay.
Writers: Jonathan Hensleigh, J.J. Abrams (screenplay); Shane Salerno, Tony Gilroy (adaptation); Robert Roy Pool, Jonathan Hensleigh (story).
Cast: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler,
Where it's playing: Granada Theater.

Before blowing up the world with giant space-robots, Michael Bay tried to blow up the world with a really goddamn giant asteroid. You've already seen this movie and don't care what I have to say, but maybe you will at the Granada, where people will be riffing on the movie as a part of the spot's Summer Mockbusters series. You can even join in on the fun by tweeting jokes, which will also show up on the big screen.

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