Proposed Garland Brewpub Will Give You Beer For Life In Exchange For $2,000.

“GARLAND NEEDS YOUR HELP,” is a fairly out-of-context quote you can find in one of two cutesy videos posted to this crowdfunding campaign from a group of home brewers out of Garland who really want $30,000 by December 7 so they can launch the first brewpub in the Dallas suburb.

Note: That's “brewpub” and not “brewery,” as everyone knows that Lakewood Brewing Company is actually based in Garland despite its name, duh.

Still, brewpubs may be just as hot a commodity as craft breweries in the region these days, as we're approaching the openings of both Small Brewpub in Oak Cliff and BrainDead Brewery in Deep Ellum in the coming weeks and months. So while this new potential brewpub, called Intrinsic Brewing and promising to combine burritos with craft beer, won't be the first in North Texas, it very much is looking to be the first such venture in a town that looks like it's been destroyed by zombies.

Also, per usual, this particular crowd-funding campaign on the beer-centric crowd-funding site CrowdBrewed comes with some rewards for would-be contributors, too. And that — not the fact that we live in a time where a beer-focused crowdfunding site can be an actual thing now, which is downright bizarre and laughable, but that there are some rewards up for grabs — is where things get interesting.

Really, here's the one you want to know about: For a $2,000 donation, Intrinsic will give you beer for life, they say. Specifically, their offer is three in-house beers per day or a growler to take home, for every single day for the rest of your life. Which, mathematically, kind of works out in your favor if you can front that $2,000.

“But what if their beer sucks?” you ask.

Well, if homebrewing competitions are any indication, it probably won't. This crew won four awards at this past year's Deep Ellum Brewing Co. But, still, that's a risk you have to be willing to take — along with, say, the more-real risk that it's entirely possible that a startup brewpub you give $2,000 might not last the entirety of your life's remaining days.

Anyway, the point is, it's an interesting offer. But perhaps more interesting is that, for a $25 donation you'll receive a sticker, a shout-out on social media and unlimited high-fives. Because, see, here's the thing about unlimited high-fives: It seems like an easy thing to give away until someone actually decides to cash in on those high-fives with frightening consistency. And then who's the sucker? Answer me that.

Or don't and just get to know Intrinsic Brewing by watching the below video and then maybe giving them some money here. Your call

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