They Cancelled GCB? They cancelled GCB!
Welcome to D-Rated, our weekly feature that tries to determine if things are looking up or down for Dallasites by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.
Praise the lord: ABC announced this week that it has cancelled its Dallas-set prime-time dramedy, GCB. Fans aren't ready to give up on the show just yet, though; a number of them have taken to the Internet to launch petitions in an attempt to save it from cancellation. Clearly, none of these people are from Dallas. Plus 2.14.
Let me work it: A new study says that, in the past year, Dallas-Fort Worth has had the third-highest job-growth rate in the country. No excuse for not being able to make rent payments now, degenerate roommates. Plus 5.
Foot joy: Some lawmakers determined this week that hunting for Bigfoot in Texas is completely legal and A-OK — y'know, if you're into that sort of thing and never had a good Harry and The Hendersons-inspired cry. Plus 7.
Uppers and downers: Authorities found a couple of letters filled with white powder at various North Texas spots this week. It's kind of a big deal. And yet no one ever seems to care much about the white powder we always see in various nightclub restrooms around town. Minus 2.
Oh, thank Heaven: The Dallas-based convenience store chain 7-Eleven announced this week that its sights are now fully set on Manhattan, where the chain plans to compete head-to-head against the many long-standing bodegas of New York. No word yet on if 7-Eleven plans to sell drugs out of the back. Plus 7.11
The pen is mightier: A seventh grade student in Denton took home the top prize this week in the 21st Annual National Handwriting Contest. No one seemed to care when we took second-place in the National Abacus Competition, but whatever. Plus 5.
Dumped: A former DISD employee — and a stated diaper fetishist — received an 11-year jail sentence this week for “transporting and shipping child pornography.” Beware of oncoming profiling, other diaper fetishists in the region. Minus 2.
Gimme a break: While knocking in a run on Sunday night, Josh Hamilton cracked the historic bat he'd last week used to hit four home runs in a single game. Hamilton said the bat “died a hero” and shipped it off to Cooperstown, New York, for it to be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Somewhere, a toddler is crying because Hamilton didn't give him the bat. Plus 4.
Alright, alright, alright: A UT Dallas researcher was awarded $2 million this week to study pot addiction. Do you have any idea how many Funyuns you can buy with $2 million? Plus, like, 2, man.
Last week's total: Minus .04.
This week's count: Plus 28.25.
This week's running total: Plus 28.21.