This Week, High-Rises Were Bummers, Sports Got Fun and Six Flags Kept Spinning.
Welcome to D-Rated, in which we try to determine if the quality of life in Dallas and its surrounding areas is moving up or down by arbitrarily awarding and subtracting point values to our living situation based on current events.
Elvis Has Taken the Building: The Rangers are only two games behind the Astros, which means they’re going to blow it at any second. I kid, I kid. But whether you're a pessimist or an optimist, you can't deny the awesomeness of Elvis Andrus stealing home earlier this week. That’s the first time a Ranger has pulled that off in 15 years. Plus 2.
GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL: The U.S. Soccer Federation is closing in on a deal to bring the National Soccer Hall of Fame to Frisco. There used to be one someplace called Oneonta, New York, which was basically in the middle of nowhere. It closed in 2010, which doesn’t exactly bode well for a new hall, but the odds are in Frisco's favor, considering they already have a (pretty damn good) professional soccer team and thousands of youth players in the DFW area. If nothing else, it’ll be an improvement on the Bowling Hall of Fame in Arlington. Plus 1.
Burn, Baby, Burn: Anybody who's been to the Nasher Sculpture Center during the summer — or anywhere in Dallas, really — knows it can get hot as balls. But ever since the luxury high-rise Museum Tower opened in 2013 and brought an unsightly glare with it, things have only gotten hotter. Now, more than two years later, the Dallas Police and Fire Pension System has essentially decided that the glare's just not a big deal anymore. Yes, there are bigger issues in our city. But this is essentially giving up because they don’t view it as a problem. I mean, it's just priceless art we're talking about getting ruined by sunlight! No biggie! Minus 2.
Deep Hellum: Speaking of soulless high-rise apartments, it looks like Deep Ellum is getting one, too. Sure, the area has already experienced some gentrification. But this new development, called The Case Building, comes from the same developers who built high-rises in Uptown and just started another in Highland Park. To paraphrase the Bible: What good does it benefit a neighborhood if it gains some new businesses, but loses its soul? Minus 1.
Tatu Removal: It seems like only yesterday that Tatu, the shirtless striker, came home to coach the revitalized Dallas Sidekicks, where he made his name in the '80s and '90s. Well, like HAIM said, those days are gone. Now, Tatu is out as coach. Oh, and he's suing the team. According to the lawsuit, he hasn't been paid since February 2013. Legally known as Antonio Pecorari, Tatu claims he's owed $109,000. The Sidekicks' team logo may look like a bandit, but I didn't know that was an accurate representation. Minus 1.
Egg-cellent: OK, this is terrifying. Garland resident Yadira Rostro had complained about terrible headaches and vision problems. When she checked into Methodist earlier this month, though, she learned that those weren’t migraines. She had tapeworm larvae living in her brain! Her doctor believes she probably picked it up from some contaminated food she ate on a trip to Mexico two years ago. That's a big ol' case of nope. Minus 1.
State of the Barf: Hope you like getting nauseated, because Six Flags is about to hook you up! Next spring, you'll find three new rides near Batman: The Ride, all of which aim to expand the growing Gotham City section of the park. Your opportunities to hurl include: The Riddler Revenge, which is just your basic pendulum; Catwoman Whip, which spins in way too many directions for my comfort; and Harley Quinn Spin-sanity, which is essentially the Scrambler you see at county fairs. I’m only interested in the last one if Margot Robbie shows up. Plus 1.
This Week's Total: Minus 1.
Last Week's Running Count: Minus 3.
This Week's Running Count: Minus 4.