Why Do Mosquitoes and Stupid Racists Have To Ruin Everything?

Welcome to D-Rated, in which we try to determine if the quality of life in Dallas and its surrounding areas is moving up or down by arbitrarily assigning point values to current events.

Race Issues Squared: As Ron Burgundy once said, “That escalated quickly!” It started with the words “This Is Racist” being spray-painted onto a Confederate monument in Denton's square. The statue got cleaned up quickly, but a 69-year-old protester returned, calling for the piece to be moved to a museum. Then some bro showed up with his loaded automatic weapon to, in his words, “make a point.” Well, then! Thankfully, police showed up and the armed guy forfeited his ammunition and left. Look: As we grapple with these monuments all over the state and country, valid discussions need to happen. But bringing your loaded weapon only makes things worse, especially when tensions are already high and it's hot as a mother outside. Minus 2.

Grand Slammed: One stroke. One lousy stroke. That's how close Jordan Speith was to making a four-hole playoff for the British Open and keeping his Grand Slam dreams alive. Despite the close loss, Speith took it in stride, even chugging from the trophy on the flight home. Keep it up, Jordan. Keep making golf interesting. Minus 1.

Cemetery Dysfunction: Cemeteries can be a little spooky, especially on foggy nights. But if you think Muslim cemeteries are scarier than Christian or Jewish cemeteries, you either need professional help or you just live in Farmersville. How so? Well, some residents of that town are freaking out because the Islamic Association of Collin County wants to use some land there for a cemetery. The townspeople fear the land will be eventually used to build a mosque (also not scary) or — gasp! — a school. Ugh. This is just racism and Islamophobia plain and simple. Get over yourselves, yokels. Minus 3.

Shock to the System: While the Mavs continue to fight for a first-round exit in the loaded Western Conference of the NBA, Dallas might be getting some more hoops action. The Tulsa Shock of the WNBA are set to move to DFW, provided the lawsuit against the majority owner doesn't go through. The team doesn't have an arena lined up yet, but they could easily use the AAC, the Dr Pepper Arena (home of the D-League's Texas Legends) or the College Park Center at UTA. Arlington has more than enough sports teams, though, so here's hoping all the recent rumors about that UTA spot being the most likely choice aren't true. Plus 1.

De-Nile Begins: The Mosquito-pocalypse has begun anew! Dallas County Health and Human Services recently confirmed the first West Nile case of the year. The patient lives in Southeast Dallas, and so far it's still the only case on record. As usual, we'd like to remind you now to get rid of any standing water near your home and to load up on the OFF! any time you step foot outside — especially during dawn or dusk. Minus 1.

Finally, Something Good to Come Out of Alabama: In a small but delicious piece of news, Blue Bell announced it has started the first test-run at its Alabama plant. These test batches of ice cream are purely for reasearch; they'll be monitored and won't be sold. But if they come back free of listeria — the bacteria that caused the recall and shutdown — we can expect production to ramp up quickly, as the company recently got an influx of cash from Fort Worth billionaire Sid Bass. Plus 1.

This Week's Count: Minus 5. Stupid racists have to go and ruin everything.
Last Week's Count: Minus 1.
Running Total: Minus 13.

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