We Were Gonna Crush On Area Criminal Justice Leaders, But Then We Got High.

Heyyyyyyyyy Dallas Criminal Justice Leaders,

Are you cool, dudes? I hope with the utmost sincerity that you indeed are, if you know what I'm saying. I mean, I don't want you to be, like, worried about your decision to begin experimenting with the idea of not even arresting the city's casual marijuana users starting this January. Because, maybe, I dunno, you're kind of like freakin' out that this thought has put the city on the road to ruin or whatever?

If so, you totally shouldn't even sweat that, bros. Because it's so not even this huge deal or anything.

I mean — just being real here — we think this idea is pretttttttttty dope. Y'know? You do. I know you do.

Which is righteous stuff, because you're right on point, you guys! Citing marijuana users and giving them tickets instead of hauling them off to jail and wasting hundreds of thousands of tax dollars to keep pot users locked up and further waste the time of our city's police officers who have been long forced to deal with such a non-issue? I mean, that's always seemed a bit out of whack, if you ask us.

And, dudes, it's like, we're not even the only ones that think this way, either. We read in the paper that only 23 percent of Texans think weed should be illegal in all instances. That's way less than half, so that's pretty freakin' epic. And then there's this other poll that shows that 58 percent of Texans are in favor or legalizing marijuana altogether and regulating it like alcohol.

The point being is that I really wouldn't be too afraid that Dallasites are going to be up in arms about the changes that lay ahead. They're with you.

With you.

And so are we. We're totally stoked that we no longer have to worry about you dragging us off in cuffs every time we spark a little green out there in the harsh world that is our perception of reality.

Of course, if we're being completely honest here, we gotta ask: Why you didn't do this sooner? Like, no offense intended, but Texas law has made it cool for its cities to go do the cite-and-release route thing since 2007.

Did I just blow your mind a little?

Ha, alright.

We're friends, right? Word, word. Let me ask this then: Can we just kinda drop the whole $2,000 fine thing and potential 180-day jail sentences while we're at it? Because, listen man, it'd be a whole lot cooler if you did.

We don't think that's too much to ask, either. There are 23 other god-fearing states out there that have totally OK'd medical marijuana use at this point. And then there's another two where it's totally cool to recreationally do as one pleases.

Have you guys ever been to Red Rocks? It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, yessir. I highly recommend it.

If I may make another recommendation, too? I'd say there's probably a lot of head shops out there that'd probably even agree to stop pedaling all that dangerous synthetic stuff if you were just like, “Whatever, bros. Weed's not even that big of a deal any more!”

Because you and I both know that it isn't, don't we?

I mean, I'm making sense, right? To put it bluntly: Why would anybody risk overdosing on that non-organic stuff if they could, without fear of prosecution or harassment, just enjoy a substance that, I'll remind you, nobody has ever overdosed on in the history of ever?

I'm just sayin', man.

But, for now, credit where credit it justifiably due: It takes a big person to admit when they've been doing things wrong, and making such a drastic 180 on such a public stage can be a tricky thing.

In that regard, you deserve a high five for taking the first steps in the right direction. Progress is real.

Check you later,
Cory Graves and the rest of the Central Track staff.

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