Yeah. I'm a Sadbro.

Dear Narcissist,
My friend accused me of acting “sadbro” tonight and I literally have no idea what he means by it. I asked him, and he didn't seem to know, either. Can you help us out? What are some notable traits of the sadbro? –Sadbro? in South Side

Man, I dig your friend's vernacular. Sadbro is one of my favorite words because it can take on so many different connotations depending on how you use it.

For example: “Look at that total sadbro,” you might say while pointing to a man who is pulling the individual grains of salt off of a movie theater pretzel.

Or, “Hey I'm going to go to a bar and sadbro tonight,” you say as you realize that your jeans have been unzipped all day and nobody told you because you don't have any friends and then you realize that the reason your jeans weren't zipped is because you don't own any jeans because you don't even exist. You are a comic book character whose sole purpose is to die in the third panel on the second page. Total sadbro material.

Also, the thing about the word “sadbro” is that when applied to other people, it's derogatory. But when you apply it to yourself, it's an endearing form of self-deprecation. Hell, I even use it as a verb to describe me doing socially alienating things.

“Can't go out tonight, I gotta go home and sadbro” equals “I'm going to sit on my couch and eat peanut butter out of a jar while writing my Thundercats fanfiction.”

Hope that helps! Keep up the sadbro, though. Game recognize game.

Dear Narcissist,
Can I take seriously a top albums of 2012 list if it comes out before the release of the new Big Boi? — Waiting near Walnut Hill

Can you take yourself seriously for writing me a question asking about end-of-the-year lists? Are end-of-the-year lists anything more than a big circle-jerk that is weirdly performative and self-aggrandizing?

I'm emailing you back with a .gif of me rolling my eyes and making wanking gestures as an answer to the two questions that I just posed.

It's strange how people group music on a yearly basis, as if a consistent time lapse has anything to do with the way you feel about an album. So, yeah, I don't think you should take albums-of-the-year lists seriously at all, even if it's your friends' list.

Also: Why bother making a list before the year is over? That's cheating. Big Boi probably planned a December release so he wouldn't have to deal with being on everyone's shitty top albums list.

But if you insist on thinking end-of-the-year lists actually mean anything, maybe you should roll your own? But, instead of writing about your favorite albums, write about the “Top Ten Public Restrooms I Shat in During 2012.” Or maybe you could do an end of the year list titled “Twenty Most Annoying People I Had to Interact With in 2012” and then link to their Facebook profiles. Or better yet write that “Images of Me Crying at Parties in 2012, Ranked by How Cute My Hair Looks” list you've been putting off.

Dear Narcissist,
Halle Berry or Hallelujah? — Lamar on S. Lamar

I see what you did there, but that's probably because that was the least nuanced joke ever written in the history of the Internet.

Were you at home, reading Kendrick Lamar lyrics on Rap Genius and telling yourself that 2012 will finally be the year where you successfully utilize humor as a way to interact outside of your small globule of existence?

Stop being a sadbro.

Got a question for the Narcissist? Email her!

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